Friday, March 31, 2006

i'm finally perkin' up a bit.

man, i've been so out of it all week...i'm going to see how long i can go today without a pain pill. when i'm on those pain pills, this is super fun!!

so, right now my boyfriend is helping his friend out at an auction he's having, as he does every few months. he helps with the eBay live auction side of things. they've got some really cool stuff, including a bazillion action figures that belonged to leonardo dicaprio, and a giant collection of condom tins. i never knew there was such a thing.

penthouse interview with l. ron hubbard, jr.

snakes in a car.

world's largest buffet!

ha, sharon stone's old boobies are lopsided.

database of mad movie satires.

oop, i can feel the vibration right now!!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

still groggy/hurty. just links.

the 10 best 80's movie music videos.

the official "shotgun" rules.

prisoner's dictionary.

shin-yokohama ramen museum.

the backseat kiss.

can you afford NOT to own uranus?

the english-to-12-year-old-AOLer translator. below is a portion of my post yesterday...heh.


Wednesday, March 29, 2006


i had my surgery yesterday, and everything is going to be fine. however, i am in a LOT of pain and i'm all drugged up. all i can do is lie here with my trusty tablet pc, so i figured i may as well blog. if anyone cares about the details...i have endometriosis, which is bleeding scar tissue that forms on the walls of the uterus and other girly organs. i dealt with a lot of pain fora lot of years, and it was just time to have it taken care of. so, i did. the past few days have been quite rough, so i'm glad all the x-rays, prep for the surgery (ladies, if you've ever had to "prep" for this kind of surgery, you know EXACTLY what i'm talkin' about), and the actual procedure, which was the removal of that scar tissue, are over. they thought i was going to need 4 incisions, but i only got 2. and one is in my belly button, so it won't be noticed. i am just SO glad this is done, you have no idea. i have been losing it emotionally for weeks, and now i can just pop my painkillers and breathe a sigh of relief. if i hadn't done this, my chances of ever having a baby were really bad, too. so, yay! and i just totally love everybody right friends and family have been so suppportive and caring and sweet and wonderful. :) i am a lucky girl.


and i thought my cat was crazy...

listen to the new vines here.

evan dorkin's welcome to eltingville---"bring me the head of boba fett." i haven't seen this in years!

top model for sale.

itty bitty kitchen handbook. i've got one of those. an itty bitty kitchen, not the handbook.

top 50 cult movies.

deal or no deal online game. surprisingly addictive.

raconteurs mania! there's a new york show going on sale tomorrow, but i don't have the energy to deal with even thinking about trying to get tickets.

i'm out. time for another pain pill and glorious sleep...

Sunday, March 26, 2006

i'm in a glass case of emotion!

i wanna say something. i'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. i want to be on you… wait. wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. i... i wanna be on you.

ok, i don’t wanna be on you. actually, i am having surgery on tuesday, march 28th, so for several days i don’t know if i will be up to this new fad called “blogging”. i believe it’s called “blogging” or "yogging"…i'm not sure but apparently you just type for an extended period of time. it's supposed to be wild.

it’s not really super-serious, but it’s not really super-great either. i'm going to feel like i was punched in the ovary, straight shot - right to the babymaker. and i’ll exclaim, “great odin's raven!!!”

i may be feeling fine after a few days, and bored out of my mind because i’ll be home from work for a week (lots of blogging), or i may be all doped up on drugs and in pain and unable to form a complete thought and lying in front of the tv like an idiot, perhaps watching “anchorman.” (very little blogging.) i have no idea. and if you want to throw down in fisticuffs, fine. i've got jack johnson and tom o'leary waitin' for ya...right here!

so… you stay classy, mondo retro readers.

p.s. i made a new blog today, for some reason...

"listening to their hair grow in the darkness"

val kilmer wuz here. (the pic on the left is one i took on new year's eve in brooklyn.)

betcha didn't know val writes poetry, too. while you're on his site, be sure to pick up an awesome flame hat and some stationary at the shop!

erm, am i the only one that didn't know sid haig was a licensed hypnotherapist?!

philip seymour hoffman does high school kid's film. awwww. that's cute.

overhyped bands.

hasselhoff's yearbook! i want it!

speaking of hoff... oh, hoff. what happened? oh yeah, that's right...

ahhhhhh, remember this cartoon? :)

1972 ebony ads.

the top 15 skylines in the world.

what you should do if your eyeball pops out.

virtual neil (from belle & sebastian). he's like a magic 8-ball, but cuter and with a better accent.

marvel superheroes exhibition!

mean kitty.

can't sleep, clown will eat me...can't sleep, clown will eat me...

Saturday, March 25, 2006

will i never learn?

ugggh...such a hangover...i went out with the girls last night, lina and tiffany. or, monica and tina, as they told the drunk, scraggly, unintelligible, poor-man's baba booey who wanted to buy us a pitcher. ick. i was mary jane, by the way. really? TELL US ALREADY !!

meat men like.

walt disney film all about v.d. excellent! (via boing boing)

propaganda films! my favorite! seriously, i love them.

comprehensive list of how female comic book characters have died.

superhero or household cleaner?

weird guy behavior explained. (thanks, johnny speed)


is shaving really that interesting?

the simpsons in the flesh.

can't wait until tomorrow to see it? watch it here!

Friday, March 24, 2006

good times...good times...

i was just image-googling around and found all these crappy web-cam pics of me that used to be up on the old i have all the full-size pics somewhere, but they're on a disc and i have no idea where they are. some of them are funny to me. probably not to you, but pffffft. gawd, my hair was so short!!! i think most, if not all, of these are from 2002. that one of my haircolor halfway washed out is SO SCARY. yikes.


snakes on a plane, man...snakes on a plane.

i am so seeing this movie. i mean, i really can't wait.

the reshoots of "snakes," via defamer.

already in the urban dictionary.

ok, no more snakes on a plane. heh. i just can't believe that title, it's so awesome.

update: snakes on a plane quote tracker! wheeeeee!

raconteurs live review, via stereogum.

dick cheney's suite demands. what a diva.

woo, she-ra!

list of the religions of comic book characters.

here's a pic of those fat twins on motorcycles from the guinness book of world records years ago. these twins have come into conversation more than once over the past few weeks, which is odd. i used to stare at this picture in awe when i was a kid. awww...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

" can't you see... I love you, Antoine."

i am so obsessed with "eternal sunshine" lately. it's been on the hbo constantly, so i've seen it several times in the past few days after a fairly long break from watching it (and by "fairly long," i mean a month or two). i get this way with all of my favorite movies...i can watch them over and over. i have also been watching "the lost skeleton of cadavra" a lot lately, too. those are 2 wonderful movies for completely different reasons...

i fell in love with "eternal sunshine" within the first 10 minutes of seeing it in the theater. i also was weeping like a damn fool for most of it. it was kind of embarrassing, i just could NOT even take it. it took such an emotional toll on me...i continued to cry when chris and i went to a bar afterwards. he was like, "erm, what the hell is wrong with you?!" hahaha...but you see, chris and i were on "a break" at the time and we saw the movie together and it was just too much for my fragile little mind! there were a LOT of really crazy little things that seemed to directly apply to me, or us or whatever. which is what everybody says about the movie, but it was indeed a bit jarring. at least i wasn't the only one...there were many crying people in the theater. we saw it in the theater again with friends of ours, and i had to really try very hard to keep it together. i remember thinking, "i can't wait until this comes out on DVD so i can weep openly in my home!"

then i got a bootleg copy of the movie to tide me over before it was released on DVD. it had german subtitles and the sound was just a little off from the picture...but i watched it a few times anyway. then i got the super-groovy extra-plus-plus-special deluxe fancy-pants special-edition DVD for valentine's day last year. and we watched it on valentine's day, which was totally appropriate. ahhh yes, crying on valentine's day. fun. at least i wasn't crying and passing out on the bathroom floor, which unfortunately is what happened the previous valentine's day. :(

so, even to this day the movie really makes me cry. the parts that really get me are when joel and clementine are under the quilt and he says,"please, mierzwiak, let me keep this memory...just this one..." and he's reaching for her but she's slipping away...*sniff, sniff* i'm pretty much a mess from that point foward. i cry when they are little kids...i cry when joel is screaming in the snow that he wants to call it off "can you hear me? i don't want this any more, i want to call it off!"

...and then i laugh when i see mark ruffalo dancing in his underwear.

it makes me happy/sad every time i see it. i love how they decide to be together even though they know they are doomed (at least that's what i get from the ending). i love that so many people strongly relate to how real the characters are and how relatable all the relationship-stuff is, yet we are talking about a trippy charlie kaufman film that takes place inside someone's brain. i love that beck did that song for the soundtrack. i love her "love is..." shirt. i love that a guy emailed me the other day, asking me to try to create a similar necklace to the one joel gives clementine so he can give it to the woman he loves. :) yay.

so...yeah. wikipedia has a pretty good entry on the movie.

here's the first draft of the script, which you should read. (via which is run by mick. who is awesome.)

every time i see this picture, i desperately want to dye my hair that color.

here's a pic from a deleted scene. ahhhh, i love her hair color! man, every time i get into this movie i'm all about dyeing my hair. each time i get it back to a "regular" color, which believe me isn't easy, i start messing with it again. i have 2 colors at home right now, just begging to be used...1/2 a container of plum passion and about 1/3 of pillarbox red. that will make a cool color, i reckon. i will be home from work all next week---details of that mess to follow---and i just know that by, like, thursday, boredom and feeling like crap about myself will get the better of me and i'll dye my hair. i just know it. plus, i am fortunate to have a job where not only is the funky hair acceptable, but it is also encouraged. the prez seems to like it, for some reason. unless his constant comments about when i am going to have another crazy color is his demented way of making fun of me...which is entirely possible.

of course, i must mention paul proch, who did joel's journals and artwork in the movie.

check out this chick's tats!

dr. mierzwiak's myspace. i'd add him as a friend, but he hasn't logged in for a while.

human charcoal briquette

don't mess with matt and trey!

revolting sofas.

famous cannabis users. what a silly list. it also seems like a really, really short list!

i just knew firefox was bad news!!

jewelry made from cracker jack prizes.

colbert pens a book. chock full of truthiness, i'd imagine.

florrie fisher: the inspiration for jerri blank.

a list of the ABC after-school specials, and an article about how people still love them. i know i do...

"they both prefer younger partners." i don't know why i think that's so funny.

the death psychic. this is how i shall leave this mortal coil:

After a long night at the bar, you stop to get gas on your way home. As you're filling the tank, your drunk friend in the passenger seat throws a lit cigarette out the window, sparking a massive fire which engulfs both you and the car. You're quickly turned into a human charcoal briquette.

yep. that sounds about right.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

google adsense strikes again.

dear larry,

ok. which are you, a cable guy or a health inspector? PICK ONE. i guess the "cable guy" premise has already been done, and by someone way funnier than you. so, why not just simply be larry the health inspector?

i think the funniest thing i have heard in ages is the title of your film. and not funny, like, "awww man, i LOVE larry the cable guy! i can't WAIT for this rad flick!" it's more like, "who the hell would actually pay to see a movie like that?!" do you think america is full of idiots? oh...wait.

what's next? "larry the cable guy: ob-gyn"? "larry the cable guy: sous chef"? ugh. you are soooo the new ernest.

you suck,

mondo retro

p.s. david cross wrote a way better open letter than i did.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Those somewhat scary male tears.

cherie curie: former member of the of jodie foster in "foxes"...accomplished chainsaw artist?!?

2nd annual myspace stupid haircut awards! (via gawker)

what flippin' psycho compiled this list?!?! hahaha!

old men crying. not as funny as you'd think.

ninja lessons. you know you need 'em.

make a wet bar out of your old tv! (via boing boing)

What Pulp Fiction Character Are You?

It has to be YOUR way. When it isn't, you panic, but hold your ground. You keep your gun pointed and trigger finger ready, but you'd never really hurt anyone. Though you like being tough, feeling control, you often enjoy blending in and being part of the ordinary human race.

Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sunday, March 19, 2006

"I've had 18 full whiskeys; I think that's a record."--dylan thomas

what i'm watchin' right now.

guide to david bowie's area. yep, that area.

re-membering barbie & ken. brilliant!

live chicken cam!

webs spun by spiders on different drugs. oddly enough, the caffeine one is the most messed up.

100 most overlooked films of the '90s. i am partucularly fond of #s 6, 7, 13, 28, 47, 48, 61, 62, 68, 75, 91, 92, 94, and, of course, 100.

j.c. penney is now hip, apparently. the village voice seems surprised, but i'm not. the catalogs are the coolest thing ever.

punk rock tv theme songs.

2000 alternate uses for peanut butter.

famous last words.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

mmmm bork bork bork!

good morning! hungry? let's enjoy the breakfast blog.

give me a f-ing break.

the dullest blog in the world. besides this one, of course.

rare bollywood lp covers.

oozing goo. i just like saying "oozing goo."

list of tv shows canceled after one episode.

lyrics to looney tunes songs.

so bad, it's good!

top 100 sci-fi books.

i know it's not halloween, but here are some spooky desktop wallpapers. me likey this one and this one.

finally, let's play with the Swedish Chef translator:

Cepteeen Moorphy stetes zee oobfeeuoos: "It's leeke-a a kuela beer crepped a reeenboo in my breeen!"

Friday, March 17, 2006


just because.

here's a list of all the deaths on six feet under. i love wikipedia!!!

related: when are you going to die? i've got until wednesday, october 12, 2044.

i wonder if extra nipples will help me to live longer...

horrendous knitting.

lost on mulholland drive.

i've probably linked to that before, but my six feet under searchings earlier led me to justin theroux, which led me to mulholland drive, so...yeah. i do enjoy that justin theroux. i'm very excited that the episodes of "sfu" featuring joe are beginning to air on hbo on demand. ahhhh, joe. that french horn-playin', cat-lovin', kinky mofo.

that is all.

erin go bragh!

i'm half-irish ("the good half," as my irish mom says. we're actually scots-irish, and more scottish than irish, but today WE ARE IRISH!! today is also her birthday, and her name is pat. today is a big day in mondo's family). so...yeah. here's some irish drinkin' music for ya.

stupid teenagers and their pancakes...

this is so crazy...

devil bunnies.

college dropout alumni association. i guess i am in good company...?

but hey. at least i graduated high school. or should i say "scgool." heh.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

veal: the album

so, let's talk about bad news!! i love bad news. GET THIS ALBUM. it's most of the young ones and some other guy. i first saw them on the comic strip on mtv in the 80's, then i got a tape of the record (a guy i knew picked it up when he went to england. i would kill to have it on vinyl). it's funny as hell, and better than spinal tap. and spinal tap is pretty good. actually, i'm pretty sure spinal tap ripped them off. the bit about veal is hilarious. here are some mp3's.

and, hey. for all you young ones fans...boomshanka!

i will never be a polniaczek...

ooooh, mark your calendars...

the jello on my fork.

monty python's silly walks generator!

when i was growing up, i wanted to be jo.

unfortunately, i think i was more like natalie.

nowadays, i am most like:
"Ooooh...There's gonna be trouble!" You are Tootie! You were the only black girl
enrolled at Eastland. You're sweet and adorable. You're real name is Dorothy. Your
best friend is Natalie and you learn some facts of life together by having an interracial friendship. In 2001, you quit your talk show 'Wake Up With Dorothy' to go into theater again. You currently have one daughter, Tasha, who attends Eastland School. Your husband Jeff has passed away, and you're now a widow.

Which Facts of Life Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

save us, mariah!

while browsing wikipedia and reading about camp (the style--not the prison, fat, or summer variety), i was very amused by this paragraph:

"The film Glitter by singer Mariah Carey was considered "true camp" by some film critics. Its lightheartedness and poor quality helped Americans, according to some and even hinted at by Carey herself, to deal with the serious tragedy of the 9/11 terrorist attack that happened within a week before the film's release."

tee hee. that statement in itself is campy.

You are Sydney Andrews, fashion-challenged schemer. You've been a whore, madam, stripper, and porn producer, but has it made you happy? No. Your karma's strong, so, maybe if you quit blackmailing people, some good things will come your way.

Which Melrose Place Character Are You?

let's beat the dragon!

ha, remember tic tac dough? this page here has sounds from it---like the 10 second "thinking music." sweet! i watched this asinine show as a kid every single day. actually, i watched a lot of game shows in the 70's and 80's. odd.

emmanuel lewis saves lives!

those thetans have no sense of humor.

nothing says "guilty" like a boob in your pocket.

top 10 coolest alarm clocks.

a cartoon guide to genetics.

interesting ideas.

heh. "junior."


Monday, March 13, 2006


"This message is to notify you that your order for this item (Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes/ Store Bought Bones 7") has had to be cancelled. Unfortunately this item was very limited and the distributor for this item only provided us with a fraction of the amount we originally requested. Orders were filled in the as they were received chronologically, but due to this shortage all orders left after we ran out copies had to be terminated. You are not charged unless an item is shipped. Any pre-authorizations on your credit card will be lifted following the cancellation. We apologize for this inconvenience and wish that we were able fill all of these orders. In compensation for this disappointment we offer this coupon for 10% off your next order. "

:( *sniff, sniff*

our time is up.

wooo, a flavor of love soundboard! this show was such a pleasant surprise. i thought it would be really awful, and it turned out to be really awesome! awesomely bad, anyway. poor, poor skanky-ass new york. heh. here's the spitting action from the other week, in case you missed it. now that i'm all on myspace and stuff, maybe i should consider being friends with flav...

Saturday, March 11, 2006

i've finally succumbed...

to the myspace blahbity-blah. i actually registered like 2 years ago and never did a damn thing with it. sooooo...if you like my blog and are on myspace...will you be my friend? I HAVE ZERO FRIENDS!!! hahahaha...

Friday, March 10, 2006

cluck cluck cluck. (warning: kind of gross story)

holy crap, i choked on a chicken bone last night!!! it was horrible! i could breathe and everything, so it wasn't a heimlich maneuver-type situation...but, i was eating a small piece of chicken and i swallowed, and i felt this bone that i couldn't feel when i was chewing. it was totally lodged in my throat. i started kind of freaking out, and chris asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital. i really didn't, so i tried to drink some water to wash it down. nothing. then i thought, well, if i try to throw it up, and that doesn't work, i'll go to the ER. so i went into the bathroom, stuck my finger down my throat, and the bone just immediately popped out, all on its own, with very little effort. whew! but it was SO LONG and pointy...i would say it was 2, maybe almost 3 inches long. YIKES! i could not even believe that thing was stuck in my throat. i threw it away, and chris said, "you mean, you're not going to take a picture of it for the blog?!" hahahahah! i said, "no, that's dumb." but now i wish i had. so no, the picture i have here is NOT the actual bone. i was also watching "six feet under" when this all happened, and i wondered how many people, if any, have died while watching "six feet under."

and now here's a link about which celebrities have herpes, and the most amazing uke playing you will ever see.

Thursday, March 09, 2006


musical interests: Metal, Death Metal, Speed Metal, Heavy Metal, Classic Metal, Hair Metal, Air Supply (for romantic moods).

this guy is awesome. (friend of schrute)

the office vs. the office.

ok. no more "office." here's a random chick tract generator.

manufactured housing.

this is a funny picture.

for sale by mental patient.

roger ebert's glossary of movie terms.

how to keep an idiot busy.

screenings of the beastie boys movie at select theaters on march 23rd. i'm sure you can find one near ye.