welly welly well well well...

i don't know why i don't blog anymore...well, that's a lie. i totally know why. a) i am too lazy to look around for cool links in my free time, b) i don't have that much free time, and c) i'm totally over it. i think, if i'm going to blog again, i need some kind of schtick, some kind of theme, some kind of funny angle to make it more interesting. meh.

but, i have had a bunch of people admonish me for not updating the blog, so here's the update! first what's going on with me, and then some links. maybe the LAST LINKS EVER!!! *gasp*!!

so, the holidays are winding down. thank goodness. i am so partied-and-fooded out. i got some groovy gifts, though. chris got me not one but TWO new ukes!!! one is a good one, and the other is a "crap" one. but it's pink!!!! a cute pink girlie uke, wheeeeee! it's just screaming out for a glittery hello kitty sticker or something. the good uke is awesome, it's an ohana and sounds infinitely better than the busted old johnson uke. i also got a million felt picks. chris also got me a new digital camera and pulp fiction action figures! awww, my mans. he's nifty. oh yeah, he also got me a set of miniature furniture from hong kong...a bed, 2 dressers (with working drawers) a table, 4 chairs, and a rocking chair. they are all painted with a cool asian design...oh, did i mention that they are all butane lighters?!?!? uh-huh. they are awesome! right now the wolf and jimmie from pulp fiction are at the table, drinking coffee (lotsa cream, lotsa sugar) and bloody vincent is on the bed, pointing a gun at bloody jules, who is standing on top of a dresser pointing a gun at vincent. yes, i am 34 years old and still play with action figures. i used the bed to light my cigarette earlier. cue "beds are burning" by midnight oil!!! ha.

i got a lot of other fun things, too. i have the greatest fam and friends ever! i cooked Christmas Dinner this year for mark and margaret and margy's brother harris. it was delicious. i made turkey, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, green bean casserole, corn, rolls...oh, and we had wine. DID WE EVER! then lori came over, then rachel came over, then wyatt and his friend katie came over. did i mention i drank a lot of wine that day? margaret tells me she has many "terrific (and incriminating) photos and movies" coming my way. i just may have to crawl in a hole and die. but it was fun. damn red wine. red red wine makes me feel so fine...until the next day. that was one wicked hangover. ugh.

last night i got all dolled up and went to a ra-sha-sha cocktail party. i had more red wine, but i kept everything under control. for once.

i will be spending new years with friends in the basement they converted into a kickass mini-irish pub, and in their hot tub. WOO! but that means i think i might have to buy a new bathing suit, since mine is now too big. DOUBLE-WOO!

i always intend on sticking to the new year's resolutions i half-heartedly make, but i never do. this year my big ones are drink less, eat healthier, find an exercise regimen that i actually can deal with and stick to, and swear less. if i end up doing any of those things it will be a miracle.

ok, here's a coupla links:

ukulele freakshow!

did beck drive these people to suicide?!? this story is so crazy. if you read this, make sure you follow all the links that are provided. just so nutty.

random conspiracy theories.

*sigh* see? i can't even find more than 3 links. i'm pathetic.

i think i am going to dye my hair blonde today, maybe give myself some itty-bitty bangs. new year, new hair. yep.

so, yeah. i'll be back someday, when i actually have something interesting to say. peace out, boy scouts!

na na na na na na, you say it's your birthday

na na na na na na, it's his birthday too, yeah! (he looks eerily and freakishly like both of his parents, it's amazing.)

further proof that new zealand is cool.

yoko's unveiling a peace tower for john today.

here's john in a taxi with a very f-ed up bob dylan. *sigh*

and here's a picture of john with a uke.

uke gone wild

uke wiki. in case you don't know what a uke is.

uke tabs!

more uke tabs!!

learn some chords here. or just make some up, like i do. if you play fast enough no one will notice.

here's some bret uke love. awwww, brit. the fotc episodes on hbo on demand go away this weekend. WHAT'S A FANGIRL TO DO?!?!? *sigh* i'll miss them. that is, until november and i get my dvd. i hope there's extras and commentary!

i also have a baritone uke at home, but i rarely play it. don't know why. maybe because it's not as easy to tune and i lost my pitch pipe. "my dog has fleas" doesn't work for the baritone uke.

oh, look! yay!

i have this book. i want a shirt with the cover art on it.

this is the first song i learned on the uke.

and this is the second one.

the best part about my ukes is that i didn't pay for them. take heed, fellas: don't leave your ukes (or accordians) in the apartments of nice girls whose emotions you are toying with. you'll never get them back. muah-hahahahahaha!!!

blah.

put your own messages in dylan's "subterranean homesick blues."

this baby panda looks like a pig.

ask the punk professor.

daniel clowes is going to have a weekly comic strip in the new york times funny pages. AWESOME!!

how to analyze political cartoons.

how to play the uke in 3 minutes or less.

mmmmm...bacon...

these robots are stupid. (or really freakin' funny, i can't decide which.)

ukes for troops!

Fed-Ex's backstage rider. like you care.

mascot stalker.

this is a sign: the two of you should NOT procreate!

i hope this guy never procreates, either.

unfortunately, these people procreated: the 10 most disappointing rock n' roll offspring.

cluck cluck cluck. (warning: kind of gross story)

holy crap, i choked on a chicken bone last night!!! it was horrible! i could breathe and everything, so it wasn't a heimlich maneuver-type situation...but, i was eating a small piece of chicken and i swallowed, and i felt this bone that i couldn't feel when i was chewing. it was totally lodged in my throat. i started kind of freaking out, and chris asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital. i really didn't, so i tried to drink some water to wash it down. nothing. then i thought, well, if i try to throw it up, and that doesn't work, i'll go to the ER. so i went into the bathroom, stuck my finger down my throat, and the bone just immediately popped out, all on its own, with very little effort. whew! but it was SO LONG and pointy...i would say it was 2, maybe almost 3 inches long. YIKES! i could not even believe that thing was stuck in my throat. i threw it away, and chris said, "you mean, you're not going to take a picture of it for the blog?!" hahahahah! i said, "no, that's dumb." but now i wish i had. so no, the picture i have here is NOT the actual bone. i was also watching "six feet under" when this all happened, and i wondered how many people, if any, have died while watching "six feet under."

and now here's a link about which celebrities have herpes, and the most amazing uke playing you will ever see.

please tell your friends about this show.

if one of your new year's resolutions is to help your fellow man, then go to this website now. the world will be a better place if we all do our part. monday's episode was great. if you missed it, it was a desperate plea to save the show combined with a parody of its own demise: "I don't think the Home Builders Organization is going to support us," George says."Yeah, the HBO is not going to want us," replies Michael. "What are we going to do?"

if this is really the end, i bet the last episode is going to be killer.

whoah, this is crazy. i used to have a house of freaks tape in high school that i loved. i can't remember which one it was, though...

sculptures made from dinner forks. (via boingboing)

dang it. i wish i would've seen this when i made my list for santa. oh well, there's always valentine's day!!

a little uke history for ya.

and the museum of yo-yo history, too!

the 50 best robots ever.

outrageous aussie sayings.

listen to the new strokes album, if you are so inclined.

cultural references and "family guy."

midnight ukulele disco

i totally love the uke. i have 2 of them. my grandmother used to play the uke, too. and the banjo. she also tap danced. she was a hoot. her and my mom and my uncle and my grandfather used to have a bluegrass-type band (this was in the mid-to-late 50's), and they called themselves The Hicks From The Sticks, and they would play in the backyard. i so wish i could go back in time and check that out! my granny played the banjo (but didn't tap dance in the band, to the best of my knowledge), my uncle played guitar, my poppa played the fiddle, and my mom played the washboard because she was apparently the least musically inclined of the family. poor mumsy.