yep.

bill and wes: together again.

watch this before you see "darjeeling limited." at least that's what my friend mark says.

celebrity motorbike crash-ups.

wow, i live near the center of the universe!

new, 1-hour "office" tonight! huzzah!

related: Shirtless Jim.

hot slut of the day

oh my.

also, dunder-mifflin finally has a corporate website. i think i will apply for a job there, perhaps assistant (to the) regional manager. dwight can just go on back to the beet farm.

tomorrow i'm going to see this. woo! i hope it's good. i've seen the original like a million times. i am extremely happy this scene is featured!!!

oh, and below you will find another hot slut. this one's for my boyfriend. he recently admitted to me that he is a little bit attracted to mel. in fact, at the punk rock flea market, we were both just sitting there, silent...then he started laughing to himself. i said, "what?" and he goes, "oh, nothing. i was just thinking about mel breaking into the bathroom with a screwdriver when bret was trying to pee."

creed for governor!

July 26, 02:11 PM

Creed Thoughts

(from www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts)

So I’ve been thinking about running for Governor. There’re a lot of things wrong with Pennsylvania and since nobody’s answering my letters over at the Governor’s Office in Philadelphia, I think it’s time to take matters into my own hands. I know what you’re thinking and yes, they are wrinkled, but they’re still strong.


Number One on my list of changes: Pennsylvania should change its name to Transylvania. Lots of idiots buy all kinds of vampire rings and vampire necklaces and garlic-flavored vampire gum. There’s a lot of dough to be made from these suckers and I’m tired of seeing it go to foreigners. If we change the name of the state, we can probably do away with property tax considering the amount of souvenirs we’re going to sell. Also, vampire fans are notoriously good tippers.


Number Two: Cops’ uniforms should be neon yellow. The get-ups they wear now make it too hard to see them coming at night and I’m tired of those jerks sneaking up on me. If I’m elected Governor, I want to make sure that people know where cops are at all times.


Number Three: Soup kitchens have to offer more variety. From what I’ve heard, they serve the same soup two, three times a week. People really get sick of mushroom barley all the time, you know?


Number Three and a Half: Mushroom Barley soup will be illegal across the state. Honestly, I don’t think anyone’s going to miss it.


Number Four: Increase funding to all public schools.


Number Five: I will institute a database with pictures of every resident in the state naked. Every five years, a citizen can request to view any one person’s naked picture for a viewing period of ten minutes. After they’ve used up their viewing, they have to wait another five years until they can view another. It’s just not fair for all these foxy ladies to be walking around without anyone being able to see them naked. This is going to be the cornerstone of my campaign.


I’ve got a lot more ideas for making this state the best in the country and if you vote for me, I promise to listen to everything you have to say. Now, I know I haven’t voted for the past fifty years, but I think that’s going to give me a real leg up on the competition because they can’t attack me for my voting record. Stick with me and we’ll make some real changes to this stupid square state.


Vote Creed for Governor: “The Guy Who’s Going to Make You Rich Off of People Who Believe in Vampires!”

i was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated

i love this show!!!

twiggy magazine. heh.

LOLhan. i still like those LOLcats better, though.

crappy commercials.

this headline is genius.

in other news, the baltimore foot stomper is still at large.

awww, jim halpert...*sigh*

who's the best simpsons character ever?

happy friday, everyone!

"Even for the Internet, it’s … pretty shocking."

so, "office" season finale last night. this is the best show on tv, fo' sho'. i just love it so much i can't stand it. i wonder where jim and pam went on their date? awwww. :) i actually teared up. good finale all around...i also continue to be amazed at the song choices that are used in "the office" lately. "closer to fine" by the indigo girls, "lovefool" by the cardigans, and now "thank you" by natalie merchant?!?!? so awesome. just random songs that i have forgotten all about.

and poor, poor jenna fischer. that really sucks.

creed thoughts. (not actually located at www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts)

not "office" related: weird fortune cookie collection.

in other news, i have started weight watchers. they offered it for free for 10 weeks at work, and 20 of us are doing it, so of course i was like, "hell yeah, i could stand to lose a few pounds, i'll do it!" this is day three. i haven't gone over my points allotment at all yet. woooo, go me! on day one i hit it right on the money. on day two i was 3 points under. today, day three, i have 3 points left to go. my dilemma? tomorrow is my birthday, and rachel and i (whose birthday is on wednesday) invited like 30 people out for a big celebratory hang-out, and i will consuming large amounts of wings, beer, and fries. so i will probably be using all of my 35 flex points (the extra points you get to play with for the whole week--so if you go over your points once in a while, or you totally freak out and eat a whole pie, it's no big deal. it's factored in). no problem, though. in the cult of weight watchers, we know that the flex points are to be used and one can still lose weight. but now chris just asked me if i want to go out for my last dinner as a 33-year old, and i just can't bring myself to say no. i am so weak. i did so well for 3 whole days. all i've had since lunch (which was a whopping 13 points--damn you, arby's!) is a smoothie. a weight watchers smoothie. that i made with water. and it was NOT GOOD. i bought a whole box of them for $8 at my first meeting. i am angry. but at least it was only 1 point.

seriously, i am sounding like a cult member. i have uttered the word "points" so many times in the last three days that even i can't believe it. "i'm gonna sit at the welcome table..." AND EAT A WHOLE DAMN PIE!!!

dude, beer me that CD

God beer me strength, it's Crazy Andy's greatest hits!!! he must've gotten a lot of practice while he was a member of the prestigous a capella group "Here Comes Treble."

i love this guy. you know, in a "ugh, i totally hate him" sort of way.

today's post featuring a photo of jason schwartzman and zooey deschanel playing music together, just because

lynch!

schrute!

i guess project runway is *so over*.

cute bag.

i bet this sofa STILL looks great. thanks, plastic slipcovers!

i remember having to "write sentences." in middle school i had to write "i will not chew gum in class" and i separated the "cl" from the "ass" and i thought i was so cool by doing that.

and now, a new strife has arisen, threatening to pit brother against brother...

totes.

BOOOO! WOLF BLITZER! BOOOOOOOO!

this was so funny.

dwight's back, bitches!

i knew he wouldn't be gone for long. good "office" last night...we are now that much closer for jim and pam to admit their undying love for one another. karen will probably leave now. GOOD! i mean, y'know, she's fine for a party-pooper and all, but we all know this just needs to happen for jim and pam; it has been dragged out long enough. i'm assuming that andy (the awesome ed helms) will be outta there soon...which kinda sucks, because he is just SO GREAT at being SO ANNOYING. he makes michael look like a totally normal person, which is no easy feat. i hope that "rockin' robin" ringtone pops up somewhere. i must have it! oh, and did you catch john waters on "earl?"

in other john waters news...

mondo cookie monster!

don't throw away all those mix tapes you made in the 80's & 90's just yet!

exploitation movie radio ads.

"americal idol" myspaces. i wonder if the forest creature with the massive eyes has a page?

the history of dwight k. schrute's new year's resolutions

January 04, 05:33 PM

Dear World Wide Readership

Best wishes and Happy New Year from all of us at Dunder Mifflin Paper Products and Schrute Farms! (Note the exclamation point! I really mean it!!)

Before I speak to you about my new years resolutions for ‘07’, let’s go over some past resolutions and their current status.

‘99 – quit biting fingernails.Outcome? Done. On it. Haven’t chewed them since. Ever. Not one nibble. Even when I get a hangnail.

’00 – increase farm productivity by 18%. Outcome? Schrute Farms had a record harvest that year surpassing ’99 by over 21%. Home run.

’01 – increase farm productivity by additional 4%. Outcome? Not achieved. Profits increased by 7% but productivity when down by 2.5 %. It was a very dark time. Things got kind of ugly. (This was the year Mose gave up his moto-cross dream and hunkered down and committed to doing some serious beet farmin’.)

’02 – be more social. This was the year I got into online gaming. Also began 4 year championship laser tag run. Went on more than 3 dates. Spruced up wardrobe. Switched deodorant to the kind that the sailors use.

’03 - write and record my songs and music. Outcome? Not necessary. Decided against it. Waste of time. Songs are for children and inmates. Switched resolution to increase farm productivity by additional 3%. Achieved new resolution.

’04 – find mate. Outcome? Dated more than 2 different women during this calendar year. Kissed approximately one of them on the mouth.
Increased sales, was voted top salesman by Dunder Mifflin, won first ‘Dundie’ Award ™, increased farm productivity by 2.7%, asked for and received raise, spent Christmas with Michael Scott, took Mose to the international harvester exposition (and Indian casino), moved up to a daily regimen of 27 pushups and 85 situps.

Did not achieve goal of finding mate.

Am OK with that.

’05 – Can’t remember what I resolved to do. These pages in my diary are covered in chocolate milk.

’06 – Become top regional salesperson third year running and achieve ‘assistant regional manager’ status. Done and done. Also found potential mate. Also vanquished Jim. Purchased spud gun. Learned Klingon. Personally saved Scranton branch from being downsized.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Drum-roll please….

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr….

Dwight Schrute’s New Years Resolution ‘07

I, Dwight Schrute, resolve, in the year 2007, to display more wisdom and benelovence to my inferiors.

It is said, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Well I say, keep everyone as close as possible to you because you don’t know who is your friend or your enemy. Keep the people below you even closer if that’s possible. Even if they have to be inside you.

Remember: they work for you. They must respect you. If you can fool them into thinking that you really care, you can get them to do anything for you. Even kill if necessary.

Now I’m not saying I want Ryan or Kevin to kill a competitor or Andy or anything, but it would be nice to know that they would if I asked them to.

What are your new years resolutions. You can reply by clicking on something below.

That is all.

Dwight K. Schrute

(courtesy of schrute-space)

tiffany rules, too!

check out what she got me!! (the bobblehead, not actual dwight. but that would have totally ruled, too.)

i also got this (along with an office voodoo kit, burt's bees stuff, and dunkin' donuts giftcards) from dave, who was my secret santa at work. woooooo!

she's not your ho no mo

one-hour "office" last night! woooo! and it was a great episode; clearly the best one since "gay witch hunt."and directed by harold ramis!!!

when michael marked his benihana (a.k.a. "asian hooters") waitress with a marker, i almost died. that was the funniest thing ever. and i didn't even realize until i was talking with dave this morning that the original waitress they had at the restaurant wasn't even one of the waitresses that they brought back with them. heh.

so what did we learn? michael asked some mystery person to his all-inclusive sandals jamaica trip...michael is also too cheap to buy an entire crappy james blunt song on itunes to cry to when a woman dumps him, he just listens to the free clip...karen is jim's rebound chick (but we all knew that)...the schrutes use every part of the goose...toby can't even get a crappy free dunder-mifflin robe (the shot of him sitting there pathetically swinging his feet to the music was great)...

...and i also now have a new holiday drink to serve at parties: The Nagasaki (one part eggnog, three parts saki). mmmmmmmm...

Gruel. Sandwiches. Gruel omelettes. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.

john krasinski talks to the shins. *swoon* p.s. good "office" last night!

wal-mart sells nazi shirts.

now you won't miss a single "very special holiday episode" of your favorite tv shows this year.

wiki entry for bob dylan's theme time radio hour.

download said theme time radio hour episodes here. you'll be glad you did.

the opening scene of "the big lebowski" recreated in the wii sports bowling game.

and finally, this guy RULES! (thanks, blast off girl!)

lazy scranton

oh, man..."the office" tonight is gonna rule!

team pam!!

p.s.

they're bringing sexy back

creed in a biskit

this person really hates chicken in a biskit.

this person really loves chicken in a biskit.

is this guy making chicken in a biskit?

this is also chemically-altered-chicken-related.

also, what is up with creed on "the office?!" even drunk meredith was like, "WTF is up with you?" ha. i love the creed moments. i hope we see a lot more of creed this season. i also think toby is kinda cute in some weird way. not jim or ryan cute, but he's definitely got his own thing going on. maybe pam should have a friendly fling with toby before she starts her life-long passionate love affair with jim. because, you know, that just needs to happen.

below is last week's creed:

poor roy

$240 dollahs worth o' puddin'

i can't believe it never occurred to me until just now to search for "the state" on youtube. they have WHOLE ENTIRE EPISODES ON THERE!!! WOW. oh, happy day! kenny will be so excited---he's gonna yell, "I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!!" for all the world to hear. so, i guess i will be watching these all night long...that is, until "the office" comes on...3 episodes in a row tonight. and speaking of "the office..."

here are season 3 "spoilers." don't look if you don't want to, but i did and it reveals practically nothing. since i am myspace friends with pam, i read some of that stuff already. i'm kind of relieved, because i was addicted to reading the television without pity message boards when "six feet under" was down to its last few episodes, and i knew exactly when and how nate was going to die, and all the details of the last episode. clearly you can tell that i was the kid who snooped for her christmas presents and even snuck downstairs at night to carefully open the tape on the gifts and take a peek inside because she just couldn't stand it...anyway, i don't want to know anything about what happens with jim and pam until it airs. nothing. i just have to learn to control myself.

related: "the office" was nominated for best comedy and best actor (steve carell) emmys. not related: this is what you get when you type in "emmy.com".

will arnett got a best supporting actor nomination. COME ON!!! :)


my lands, i sound like the bigggest tv geek on earth right now.






also:

farm aid is in philly this year! sweet.

gram parsons, cosmic cowboy. posted because i am wearing my flying burrito bros. t-shirt today.

my name's mondo, and i'm outta heeeeeere...

saw wolfmother last night---i'd say they rocked.

also:

this is fun.

now you can be just like dwight k. schrute.

sweet!! totally sweet!!!

related.