Wednesday, November 30, 2005

movie trivia for your wednesday

(and no using imdb to look up the actors and stuff. that's no fun! )

guess which movie. sort of easy.

turner classic movies trivia . way harder.

the b-movie quiz. now we're talkin'!

tarantino quiz. i got 9 out of 10. yay!

oh hell, here's another one. (Hi mondo!!! You got 10/10 Right!!) woo-hoo!

thirty-seven?!? - based on the films of kevin smith. this one's for miss margy!

You're Cleopatra Jones!
You're Cleopatra Jones!

What Blaxploitation Film Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

channel 9, secaucus, nj

man, what a great channel this used to be. for some reason, our cable service dropped it several years back, so i have no idea what it's even like these days. but i used to watch it all the time in the late 80's, early 90's...good 'ol channel 9. if i dig around, i can probably find some old howard stern shows i taped from his little stint on the channel. there was some funny stuff, like bowling with the ramones, iggy storming off the set because howard booked him on the same show as angie bowie, with whom iggy was feuding with at the time (i think she wouldn't let david see their kid or something like that), kenneth keith callenbach blowing smoke out of his eyeballs and then hurling on camera, richard simmons losing it because howard was taunting the fat people richard brought on, and all the different masks they would make boy gary wear to hide his horse teeth every week while howard did commercials for the brother p-touch, 1-800-MATTRES (leave off the last "S" for "savings!!", and snapple... man, those were good times.

one show that cannot be left out of this little channel 9 tribute is the richard bey show. the movie party monster did good when they had a scene of all the club kids on the show. which i TOTALLY remember!! they had club kids on there all the time. and the movie got john freakin stamos to play him! that ruled. the set looked totally dead-on, too.

and let's not forget good 'ol morton downey, jr. and joe franklin! and the horrible kids show steampipe alley with the fabulous mario cantone! ha. they also showed reruns of "family" every day in the early 90's, which i haven't seen anywhere since. i don't know why i remember crap like that. i got all into "family", man...especially when leif garrett would guest star as kristy mc nichol's boyfriend. so cute!

everyone loves a german girl

this morning's email:

me: guten morgen, schmöopen!

chris: Häagen-Dazs!

me: Hilfe! Hilfe! Mein hut it hat drei ecken! (which means, according to kenny, "help! help! my hat has three corners!!!")

so, yeah. here's some german for ya.

99 luftbaloons, side by side english to german comparison. did i post this already? i can't recall...

list of famous germans

asking a girl out in german
how to make an umlaut

the awful german language by mark twain

fun pools in germany

the german joke of the day

german recipes

Did you see this, Mr. Worf? Did you see this creature morph?

dr. suess does star trek: tng.

kung fu quotes. funny.

the hoff is back! yessssss!

leftover lunch. mmmm....

bulleted lists of pop songs. for example (song picked randomly, and mine isn't nearly as good as some of the others. blah.):

"what do i get" by the buzzcocks. (man, the bulleted list thing in blogger totally blows. i can't format this crap for the life of me)

What I Want:

  • A lover like any other
  • A friend who will stay till the end

    What I need:
  • A caress
  • I just need a break

    What I get:
  • No love
  • Sleepless nights
  • Nothing that’s nice
  • Nothing at all, at all, at all, at all, cos I don’t get you

Monday, November 28, 2005

that's what i'm talkin' about

first of all, please check out fakiegrind's action figure theater! this makes me want to do this with all my action figures, but then i would be a big 'ol copycat, now wouldn't i.

mrs. jack white confirmed to be with child; possibly will be blessing the world with a good-looking genius. because all the spawn of rock stars are good-looking geniuses, right? oh, wait.

here is a nice unusual fortune cookie collection. the weirdest one i ever personally got said: "This biscuit suits my taste." ?!?!?!? WTF?? i also had one that said, "Your love of gardening will take on new meaning in your life." ahhhh, yes. my love of gardening.

i'm not sure which is funnier: WHEREAS, Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships; or WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics. HA! i love it! that movie is awesome....IT'S INCREDIBLE...

and finally: take heed, young girls everywhere!! kissing KILLS!

franksgiving (updated --now with 20% more links!)

i am so not functional today. went to ohio for the holidays, and i feel like my brain is somewhere on the PA turnpike. not to say that it wasn't a perfectly nice little holiday, because it was. like a good american, i ate too much, slept too much, and then spent too much money on the killer black friday sales. the best deal was a sweater at banana republic for $12.

anyway, you need to hurry up and write a letter. you remember letters, don't you? anyway, mail it today (you remember stamps, don't you?) and help try to save arrested development. it's a valiant effort, but i think we all need to start accepting things and just let the healing begin. got a nice little upgrade. me likey this version a whole lot. and i think i could totally rock that crazy plastic DJ bag they got up for sale. hint, hint.

those hipster strokes get over themselves. and get a punchier attitude.

paris hilton has always been an idiot, apparently.

emily dickinson random epigram machine. "Consummation is the hurry of fools, but Expectation the Elixir of the Gods."

and finally, from an australian bar receipt...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

what are you thankful for?

i am thankful for my loved ones. i am thankful for a warm bed and a place to live. i am thankful for coffee (that is, good coffee). i am thankful for heineken. i am thankful for sesame chicken. i am thankful for classroom scare films. i am thankful for gertie, my pretty kitty. i am thankful for "on demand," so i can watch "six feet under" for 8 hours straight if i want to. i am thankful for bob dylan and johnny cash and the white stripes. i am thankful when i can get "buy one, get one free" cigarettes. i am thankful for "mr. show" and "kids in the hall." i am thankful for "the simpsons" and "family guy." i am thankful for the cool scarves that my mom kits for me. i am thankful for the useless information and silly things to laugh at on the internets.

i am not thankful for tomatoes, because i don't like them.

hope everyone has a nice day of gluttony and sloth! i'll be back in a few days.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

never a dull moment

holy crap, some dude is getting arrested in the parking lot where i work, right now, as we speak! handcuffed and everything. we all took a peek outside just to confirm that it wasn't someone we work with. ahhhhhh, gotta love it!!

update: my friend dave found a shell from a .45, or a .44, or something, in the parking lot on his way in this morning. SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!

sears wish book, 1979. the day the wish book arrived in the mail was a truly glorious day in my childhood! i would get a pen and paper and carefully write down the page numbers and items i wanted. ahhhh...

someday i hope to visit crazy bon bon land!

i happen to be wearing a kings of leon shirt today, so are pics of some of them partying with some strokes.

the last sentence of this article is...well, quite random and inexplicable.

Monday, November 21, 2005

i need love and murder

saw "walk the line" over the weekend. and it was really good. i cried a little bit at the beginning and the end, but not all the way through like i thought i would. there was one scene that i was crying a lot, though, after he kicked the drugs and was lying in his bed talking to june, saying that it should have been him that died, not his brother. his brother was so good, and johnny felt he just always messed up. ahhhhh, i LOVE johnny cash, deeply. i always get a little misty whenever i see anything on tv ever since he died. but in general i did okay in the Crying Hysterically At Movies Department. joaquin phoenix did an outstanding job, as did reese witherspoon. i was a bit worried about reese before i saw it, but she was great. maybe not as great as she was in "election," but great nonetheless. the movie also featured an abundance of so many amazing sweaters!! all the girls were wearing these awesome little cardigans with beads and flowers and embroidery, i wanted to own every one of them!! lots of bitchin' cats-eye glasses as well.

the day johnny died was one of the saddest days in recent history for me; it was almost like losing a family member. i grew up listening to him. (i even went to see the movie with my parents--something i haven't done in a million years...i seriously think the last movie i saw in the theater with both of them was "pee-wee's big adventure." ha!)

there was one point in my life, in my 20's, that i listened to nothing but johnny cash. nothing. anyway, i cried the whole day he died. i also cried when june died, in part because i saw johnny at the funeral and he just looked like he was dead already. i knew he couldn't/wouldn't live long without her.

i feel like i have to get the rest of my johnny tattoos. with the "love god murder" box set, it came with a sheet of temporary tattoos of the symbols. i got the first one right after he died, in the middle of my lower back. i just took the temporary tattoo sheet into the tattoo place, so it is exactly like it should be. it was totally on a whim when i got the tattoo; i was hanging out with 2 friends, had many beers, and right then and there in the restaurant i was like, "I HAVE TO GET A TATTOO FOR JOHNNY CASH, RIGHT NOW!!" luckily they were sympathetic to my mission and we got up from the table, i stopped home for the tattoo sheet, and there i was getting a tattoo within the hour.

i got "god" first, for various reasons. one being that i could only afford to get one at the time, and it was the one in the middle. but also because he just died, and it seemed fitting. i've wanted to complete the set ever since, so it looks just like the cover of the box set. but i am poor, and i think that my boyfriend doesn't much like the idea of me being riddled with tattoos. although i only have one other one. it's not so bad, honey!!! and lower back tattoos on chicks are supposed to be sexy, no? at least it's not a damn butterfly or some cartoon's friggin' JOHNNY CASH!!!

Friday, November 18, 2005

wheeeee, new chucks!

and they were only $10! mondo loves a bargain! this is big news, as both of my old pairs of chucks were falling apart.

top 30 facts about chuck norris.

jello and the melvins. okay, i'll take it.

and just for good measure, here is an interview i did with jello's ex-bandmate.

here's some funny small town police reports.

my boyfriend is from a very small town in ohio. we were there visiting his family, and we read the local police blot from their paper. one of them was something to the effect of: "man rented santa claus costume and returned it 2 days late." that was the big crime in their town that week. I LOVE IT! in my city, there are usually like 5 or 6 shootings and a few knifings and arsons and drug busts and stuff. that's not so funny.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

the lunch table

so, yesterday i registered on for the first time. i immediately regretted it, because i honestly fear anyone from school contacting me, even after all this time. i don't know what i am actually AFRAID of, except for those few people that i KNOW would still be an a-hole to me, even after 15 years. man, i HATED school. i hated most of the people in my school. i couldn't WAIT to get out of there. when i graduated, they called my name, i grabbed my diploma, and i walked right out and walked home. i got in a huge fight with my mom that day, because i so desperately did not want to go. i was SO DONE. but, i had family that, like, flew in from chicago for my graduation, so i was totally going. i gritted my teeth and trudged through it.

but i digress. i decided that was nothing to be afraid of, dammit, so i registered. i laughed so bad when i saw the people's names! crazy! i have hardly seen anyone i graduated with in all this time, and it was just a trip. i really should scan some of the pages of my yearbook sometime. i defaced 75% of everyone in my class and put horrible obscene captions by their faces.

towards the end of my senior year, the class made some video where this big mean popular guy went around and interviewed everyone, asking them what they liked best about high school, and what they liked least. i was the last person they approached to do it. i gave one-word answers to the questions: i said "nothing" when asked what i liked best about school, and "everything" to what i liked least. they showed the video at the prom, apparently. i wouldn't know, because i didn't go.

anyway, the thing and all this hipster talk has got me thinking about school, and the "hipsters" that attended my school. there was this group of Alterna-whores, as i called them, who totally hated me. they thought that i was the biggest poseur on earth. why, i don't know, because i wasn't trying to look like them, or infiltrate their little circle, or anything like that. i never, EVER even spoke to them. not once. but they thought i sucked. and they all thought they were sooooooo cool. they wore all black and all loved depeche mode. every one of 'em. um, YEAH, i can see why that made them SO AMAZING. wasn't that like everyone on EARTH in the late 80's-early 90's? meh.

this one teacher actually pulled me aside one day and asked me what i was trying to prove with the way that i looked. she said if i were her daughter, she wouldn't let me leave the house looking like that. i'll never forget that, i was so pissed! i even remember what i was wearing (well, of course i do. i am a woman and i remember what i was wearing for everything that ever happened to me, ever): it was a black mod wool mini-dress that was my mom's in the 60's, a pair of ripped-up red tights with a pair of black ripped-up tights on top of them, and combat boots. fool! she clearly didn't understand fashion!!!

looking back, i had like THE BEST lunch table in the whole wide world. it consisted of me, a pregnant junior, a chick who would periodically save up her lithium and then take them all at once, some guy whose name i can't even remember, but he was totally funny, and this chick jen whom i became really good friends with, but then she went all psycho on me after we graduated. girls are like that sometimes. i think it involved her sneaking out to go to a ramones show that she wasn't allowed to attend, but i convinced her to go, and she ended up denting her dad's car. oops.

but the star of my lunch table was ralph the janitor. ralph loved us, and we loved him. he used to lean up against the wall with his broom, and we'd shoot the breeze with him. he was sarcastic and funny and twisted in a great way. and he had great taste in music. but EWWWWWW, the Alterna-whores (and probably everybody else) thought we were such a-holes to actually ASSOCIATE with the JANITOR!!! awwww, ralph. :)

there was also a "senior roast" at the end of the year, where they would put everyone's picture up on a big screen and mr. nygard, the choral instructor, who always liked me (yes, i was in chorus and glee club, what's it to ya?!?!?), would spout out a blurb about each student. of course, i didn't go. but i was told the next day that, when coming upon my photo, good 'ol mr, nygard said, "ahhhh. stefanie is in style wherever she goes." awwww. :)

let's make fun of mike + the mechanics!

oh, how i hate them. i have always hated them. they just came on the radio here at work, and now i have to rant.

all i need is to never hear "all i need is a miracle" ever, EVER AGAIN! and that awful "silent running!" "can you hear me...can you hear me runnin..." hey, can you hear me runnin to the bathroom, because that crappy song makes me want to poop myself??

"the living years" is just too nauseating to even comment on. i know it's a song about the guy's dad dying, but i just canNOT DEAL!

they may just be my least favorite band ever, along with the 5th dimension. frank sinatra must've been drunk when he said that they were "Without a doubt the freshest, most musical, most capable group in today’s bag." had he even heard "up, up and away"?!? EWWWWW!

let's make fun of hipsters!

"hipster" isn't what it used to be. in the beat days, being a hipster seemed to be a good thing (because i guess back then being a "fancy-dressing, drug-and-drink-addled sex-fiend character that hung around Times Square at night" was cool). i feel that the "hipster" of today is the equivalent of what we used to call the fashion punks back in the day. you know the type: mommy and daddy have lots of money to provide them with the uniform, they have to be seen EVERYWHERE in order to feel important, they travel in packs, and they all look the same and listen to the same music, eat the same food, go to the same places etc. blah. these days they all have the same blogs.

of course this all happened with the whole grunge thing, too. everybody looked exactly the same! so funny. in the mid-90's for a long time all the guys looked like kurt cobain. which was kinda hot, so i didn't mind as much. but then all of a sudden, all the guys looked like flippin' oasis. which was so not hot. i remember seeing these 4 guys sitting in a diner booth, and they all had the exact same fresh oasis cut. idiots. i just don't get the concept of wanting/needing to look like everybody else, even in (or especially because of) my old age. (which, at 32, would i be considered a "grandma hipster," since i am over 30? boo!) but then again, perhaps i'm just jealous because i am older, poorer, and lamer than all of them...? nope. that's not it.

maybe this is the reason?

maybe i have no right to say these things. i mean, i wear chucks, i wear thrift-store clothes, i like some of what i guess would be considered "hipster music", i wear funky glasses, i like to see the irony in things. but, i've looked exactly the same for like 15 years (with the exception of the 8 million haircolors i have sported). that's the thing about trends---sooner or later, even *you* will be totally fashionable for a fleeting moment in time!

i don't understand the "self-loathing hipster" concept, either. believe me, i totally get the self-loathing part, but if you truly hated yourself, you wouldn't refer to yourself as a "hipster." you wouldn't think of yourself as being even remotely that "cool." and you would have a lot more on your mind than slapping a label on yourself.

die, hipster, die!

hipster bingo!

nyc anti-hipster forum

hipster t-shirt generator

no white belts!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

squeeze the cheese

some people fight funny.

listen up, peeps: just say no.

is your car gay-friendly?

kidney stone analysis. fun!

david cross rants about fox's handling of "arrested development." here's a petition to save it, but i'm pretty sure all hope is lost. rumor has it that showtime may pick it up, but i am still hoping for HBO. i can't afford both!

i just found this guy's blog today...he posts the most awesome adventures of his cats with great captions, and ANTM recaps! hilarious! and a old skool pic of ramona for his profile! i heart him!

please enjoy...

...the beck "hell yes" video with the crazy robots! (image lifted from the modern age)

"Currently, there are only four working QRIOs in the world. And all of them appear in the "Hell Yes" video."

and people say that beck is no longer relevant. BAH, i say!

also: awww, and ewww!

Monday, November 14, 2005

mid-monday minutiae

that oatmeal in your cupboard from the carter administration? it's fine!

tv cream's top 100 toys---but no stratego. i was pleased to see stay alive, merlin, and slime, however!

things to do when you're bored. (besides reading mondo retro, of course)

retro and antique weirdness! yay!

paris hilton's never-changing face. freak.