Friday, September 28, 2007

uke gone wild

uke wiki. in case you don't know what a uke is.

learn some chords here. or just make some up, like i do. if you play fast enough no one will notice.

here's some bret uke love. awwww, brit. the fotc episodes on hbo on demand go away this weekend. WHAT'S A FANGIRL TO DO?!?!? *sigh* i'll miss them. that is, until november and i get my dvd. i hope there's extras and commentary!

i also have a baritone uke at home, but i rarely play it. don't know why. maybe because it's not as easy to tune and i lost my pitch pipe. "my dog has fleas" doesn't work for the baritone uke.

i have this book. i want a shirt with the cover art on it.

the best part about my ukes is that i didn't pay for them. take heed, fellas: don't leave your ukes (or accordians) in the apartments of nice girls whose emotions you are toying with. you'll never get them back. muah-hahahahahaha!!!

we heart serial killers (and crazy britney)

Thursday, September 27, 2007


watch this before you see "darjeeling limited." at least that's what my friend mark says.

ah, the good ol' days...

last week we had a health fair, and they brought a massage guy here to give everyone 5-minute massages. i think i got at least 10 minutes out of him. he was pretty good. don't i look relaxed?

and here's wyatt, dave, john (kenny's man), rachel, and me at a luncheon for kenny and some other people. holy crap rachel, you are DAAAAAARK!

UPDATE: did someone order 2 tickets to the gun show?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

just a quickie today

things may be sporadic around here for the next couple of days...or more...those of you that know me and where i work are almost certainly aware that it is NO PICNIC right now. *sigh*


oh, i can SO draw garfield!! odie and nermal, too. i should send mine in.

drunkonia. some of us live here.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

"every day's been darkness since you been gone."

oh, how i love you, bob.
first of all, he played "meet me in the morning." AND HE PLAYED IT WITH JACK WHITE.

if i was there i would've broke down and wept. i'd have to check, but he, like, NEVER plays that song. i've seen him nearly 20 times and never heard that song. "you're a big girl now" is not often played live, either. damn. his fall tour has ZERO dates in my area. what is up with that? i suppose i could drive to baltimore or pittsburgh or new york...i've done it before. i've even gone to nashville to see him. but he's gotta come my way. he always, always does; usually at least 2 shows in my neck of the woods. i associate the month of november with bob dylan. i have seen him at least once every november since 1997 (last november he played with the raconteurs---which was like my dream show...but they didn't play together). come on, bob!!! i need you. and bring jack white!!!

"The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great, that I thought I was in a dream."

lolsecretz. like postsecret, but with lolcatz. hey, look! that cat to the left there is the feline version of me!

yeeaaah...i'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead...annnnd...have a happy birthday. milton, keep passing the cake so everyone gets a piece.

awwww. this is sort of related--i have this little millipede-woman toy. the bottom is a millipede, and the top is a bettie page-esque woman with big boobs. one time i saw a real millipede on top of the sexy millipede woman. it was so funny. he probably thought, "woo-hoo! i hit the jackpot! this is the hottest millipede chick i've ever seen!!"

Friday, September 14, 2007

my eyes are just a little sweaty today

has anyone else been watching "tell me you love me" on the hbo? HOLY CRAP, it's like porn with hotter guys and a decent plot!

"i'm making a lasagna...for one..." and now you can, too! (and don't forget to bake it in your talking stove!)

the white stripes canceled their tour for the rest of the year because meg is suffering from "acute anxiety." i hear ya, sister. still, wonder what she's so stressed out about? meg, make yourself some of your grandma's corn souffle and take it easy:


1 16 oz. can of creamed corn

1 16 oz. can of corn niblets

1 box of Ritz crackers, chopped

1 egg

Mix creamed corn and niblets together. Chop crackers into little bits. Mix some of the crackers into the corn with an egg. Take the rest of the crackers and spread on top. Bake like a casserole for 40 minutes at 350 degrees. Meg: "It's awesome; the egg makes it solid and the crackers make it crunchy. Really good comfort food."

i actually made the above recipe once. it wasn't bad.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

ok, i guess vegas was pretty fun at first.

worst trip ever.

first of all, vegas is hot as balls. so hot that it's almost unbearable. when the wind blows, it feels like you've opened an oven door and stuck your head inside. i got insanely sick while i was there, so i spent saturday night until tuesday morning in my hotel, in bed - sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose and aching and moaning and groaning and, at one point, crying. and watching really crappy tv. BOOOOOO!!! the pain in my ears on the flight home was pure torture. my ears closed and didn't open up again until like 18 hours later. worst trip ever. i'm still in a horrible, horrible state.

i had some fun the first 3 nights, however. the first night we went to the venetian, which was nice. it looks like you're outside in italy, even though you're inside, and there is a river running through it with gondola rides. good food. i lost $20 in about 2 minutes in a slot machine. we walked into tao for about 2 seconds also.

the 2nd night we went to a crappy casino on the strip called bill's saloon and sat in their dank, dingy, 70's, velvety lounge and laughed at a crappy cover band over cheap beers. that was fun. then we met elvis and marilyn on the street on the 2nd night we were there. they wanted a tip and we ran away, because we are classy like that. then we saw the fountains at the bellagio, and the song was "viva las vegas." woo.

the 3rd night we went to a fun italian restaurant. that place was really rowdy and fun. i don't know if it's like that all the time, but we were all wooing and raising our glasses and talking to all the other tables the whole time. i got way too drunk at dinner (free unlimited wine + 2 martinis = WHOOPS, I'M DRUNK!). i got propositioned by a complete douchebag at the next table when i went outside to smoke. it literally took him about 2 seconds to ask me to have sex with him. EWWW! he was married with a baby on the way. he didn't care. he also told me he was in the CIA. what a tool. he gave me his number on his way out, even after i totally rejected him, and rachel put his number straight into her lasagna and smeared it around. hahaha.

the 4th night i went out to dinner with the girls. i felt like a had a bit of a cold coming on, so i went to bed at 9:30. yes, i was in bed at 9:30 on a friday night in vegas. and bed is where i pretty much stayed for the next 3 days. i even missed the last 2 days of our trade show. *heavy sigh* oh well. at least being sick kept me out of trouble. oh, and at about 3 a.m. on tuesday morning, about an hour before i had to wake up to fly home, i heard this really loud banging noise that startled me awake. then i realized my headboard was moving. yes, the people in the next room were obviously having WAY more fun than i was.
worst trip ever. :(

Monday, September 03, 2007

bret's angry footloose dance

ahhhh. and on that note, i must get ready for vegas, baby, vegas. will you just look at these temperatures?!?

Tue, Sep 4 Isolated T-Storms

Wed, Sep 5 Sunny

Thu,Sep 6 Partly Cloudy

Fri, Sep 7 Isolated T-Storms

Sat, Sep 8 Sunny

Sun, Sep 9

Mon, Sep 10 Sunny

Tue, Sep 11 Sunny

eek. i guess it's a "dry heat" and all, but still. i'll be stuck at a boring trade show for most of the time, so i hope it don't lose it. i hope our hotel isn't skanky. i hope i don't go insane without the internet. and i know it's silly, but i am not thrilled with flying on sept. 11, either.

wish me luck!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

best cameo ever.

saw "halloween" last night, and i liked it. there were some good peeps in the movie, like sid haig , clint howard, and danny trejo...but no one beats the nearly unrecognizable cameo of mickey dolenz (yes, that mickey dolenz) as the owner of the gun shop. i wasn't even sure if it was really him...i leaned over to rachel, and said, "holy crap -- is that mickey dolenz?!?" and sure enough, his name was in the credits. i was very proud of myself.

anyway, the movie was suspenseful, sufficiently bloody, plenty creepy, and just pretty good all around (especially after a bunch of beers). rob zombie did a good job.

on tuesday, i'm leaving for vegas for a week on business. there will certainly be some trolling for celebs since the mtv awards are going on while we're there. not that there's anyone presenting or performing that i would really be psyched to run into (or would even reconize, for that matter. i am old and not into rap, so...there you have it). but there should be some celebs partying it up over the weekend, so...yeah. as if i will be hanging out where the famous people are gonna be hanging out. i am staying a stone's throw from the hard rock hotel & casino, who knows. i've never been to vegas before. i think my boss is worried that on the first night i am going to gamble all of my money away and become an alcoholic, crack-addicted trailer hooker (who doesn't know how to dress professionally).


abridged movie scripts. what a time-saver!