i wonder if jemaine put a wig on bret after this photo was taken?

he's already sleeping, and in the spooning position. okay, on with the links:

using mcdonald's as pizza toppings.

how to make a life-size jabba the hut puppet. (via boing boing)

no more "red wine headache?" woo! p.s. they used the phrase "life on mars" in the article. i'm trying to think of a witty bowie comment right now, but i got nothin'. i've been a little out-of-sorts lately...i think my blog has been pretty crappy as a result. i'll try to do better. here's an idea: since i don't bother to track my web traffic anymore, why don't you good people post some crazy linkage in the comments section...? then i can see who is really reading this, and you will also be helping a sistah out. although i'll feel pretty pathetic if no one posts anything... ok, now i'm getting depressed again.

oh yeah, rachel and i are going to see rick springfield and eddie money! scandal's playing, too. i have an ex-boyfriend from many moons ago that told me that every time he had the flu and would puke, he heard "the warrior" in his head. i still think of that everytime i hear that song. funny. AND, my friend katharine saw eddie money back in the day, and when he finally stumbled out on stage, he sat down on a stool that was set up for him. he sang like 3 lines of some song, and fell off the stool because he was so drunk. he passed out cold and they canceled the show. also funny.

ANYWAY, back to business...

glamour (mug) shots. if i ever get arrested, i hope it look cute in my mugshot.

hmmmm...

folk up your wardrobe.

so hey, you can wear your folk clothing while watching flight of the conchords, which finally comes out on dvd on tuesday!!! ahhh, i miss my bret. i like lookin' at him. i stole that phrase from my dear margy (or "margence," as i like to call her). when she wants to hang out, she says, "let's get together so i can look at ya! i miss lookin' at ya." :) i also miss jemaine (whom i also like lookin' at)and murray and dave and mel and even mel's husband, doug. poor doug. "it IS terrible, doug! it's terrible!!!" now you people who read this and have no idea why i have been going on and on about "the guys" so much can see for yourselves (although with all those youtube links i just posted, you don't need the dvd, do you? meh). yis, yis, i am very excited for tuesday, although word around the campfire is that there are no extras on the DVD. boooo! i want some commentary, some easter eggs, some un-pixelated jemaine in "business time!" i want a blooper reel! i want to hear all two hours of coco's song (scroll down to "episode 4 - yoko" and click on "coco's song")! oh well.

"honey, your reputation is sh!t in this town."

wow, those girls from "the shining" really let themselves go.

the visual art of mark mothersbaugh.

naked mughsots. awwwwww yeah.

amy sedaris on martha stewart.

how to make an origami bird.

i was telling dave about bad news the other day. so now i'm telling you.

"a couple of girls made me kiss them after our last show. they made me." (note to self: it's not that hard to get them to kiss you. as long as you remember that a kiss is not a contract.)

here's a partial listing of samples used on "paul's boutique."

last night when i was reading that, i discovered that adam horovitz is married to kathleen hanna. i had no idea!!! i loved bikini kill.

that wiki entry led me to read about "over the edge," which is one of the greatest 70's teen movies ever. i first saw it on tv when i was in high school, and then it was on again so i taped it, and then i found it at a used record store on vhs for $5. it has good music, matt dillon, and the kids blow up the school at the end. but not in a campy "rock n' roll high school" kind of way. then i read (and remembered) that kurt cobain loved this movie. coincidentally, i rocked out in my car to nirvana the other day for the first time in years and years. it was fun, but made me feel old. i remembered how i was obsessed i was (much like the rest of the universe) with "nevermind" when it came out, not long after i graduated high school. in 1991. which was 16 years ago. when did i get old?!?!? that was a good time for music, though. i wasn't into "grunge" bands so much as i was into the riot grrrl bands. i loved hole (yes, i am admitting that. i was all about "pretty on the inside" and every b-side and 7" and demo and what have you. "live through this" was good, i guess, but i turned on courtney soon after it came out. i turned on her for many reasons, but i really didn't like the slicker versions of those older songs. especially "doll parts." once upon a time i *loved* that song. i hated the way is sounded on "live through this." HATED IT. but the timing of the album's release made it important, i guess. courtney just started totally sucking as a human being, and continues to do so. so, f her.

(later: in honor of this post, i am wearing my sonic youth "dirty" shirt and a white plastic little girl's barrette in my hair. viva la 1992!)

uke gone wild

uke wiki. in case you don't know what a uke is.

uke tabs!

more uke tabs!!

learn some chords here. or just make some up, like i do. if you play fast enough no one will notice.

here's some bret uke love. awwww, brit. the fotc episodes on hbo on demand go away this weekend. WHAT'S A FANGIRL TO DO?!?!? *sigh* i'll miss them. that is, until november and i get my dvd. i hope there's extras and commentary!

i also have a baritone uke at home, but i rarely play it. don't know why. maybe because it's not as easy to tune and i lost my pitch pipe. "my dog has fleas" doesn't work for the baritone uke.

oh, look! yay!

i have this book. i want a shirt with the cover art on it.

this is the first song i learned on the uke.

and this is the second one.

the best part about my ukes is that i didn't pay for them. take heed, fellas: don't leave your ukes (or accordians) in the apartments of nice girls whose emotions you are toying with. you'll never get them back. muah-hahahahahaha!!!

like a curry

one of these days i'm going to throw a dinner party and actually make some of this hideous food that i am so obsessed about...

arrrrrgh! walk the plank! swab the deck! arrrrrgh!

wes anderson's at&t commercials.

you know a day can't go by without me talking about fotc...

over and over...

and over again.

eeek!

this made me laugh.

this one's for rachel!

you bloated sack of protoplasm!

mugshots of people wearing band t-shirts.

jemaine-isms.

well, it's that time of year again...

john k, the genius behind ren & stimpy, has a blog.

and so does mc hammer.

pictures of people with balls in their faces.

a bunch of crazy drug links.

my eyes are just a little sweaty today

has anyone else been watching "tell me you love me" on the hbo? HOLY CRAP, it's like porn with hotter guys and a decent plot!

if i was one of the golden girls, i would so be dorothy. with maybe a little bit of rose.

"i'm making a lasagna...for one..." and now you can, too! (and don't forget to bake it in your talking stove!)

bloggers invent their own cuss phrases.

the white stripes canceled their tour for the rest of the year because meg is suffering from "acute anxiety." i hear ya, sister. still, wonder what she's so stressed out about? meg, make yourself some of your grandma's corn souffle and take it easy:

INGREDIENTS:

1 16 oz. can of creamed corn

1 16 oz. can of corn niblets

1 box of Ritz crackers, chopped

1 egg

Mix creamed corn and niblets together. Chop crackers into little bits. Mix some of the crackers into the corn with an egg. Take the rest of the crackers and spread on top. Bake like a casserole for 40 minutes at 350 degrees. Meg: "It's awesome; the egg makes it solid and the crackers make it crunchy. Really good comfort food."

i actually made the above recipe once. it wasn't bad.

bret's angry footloose dance

ahhhh. and on that note, i must get ready for vegas, baby, vegas. will you just look at these temperatures?!?

Tue, Sep 4 Isolated T-Storms
104°/81°

Wed, Sep 5 Sunny
100°/78°

Thu,Sep 6 Partly Cloudy
100°/77°

Fri, Sep 7 Isolated T-Storms
99°/77°

Sat, Sep 8 Sunny
98°/77°

Sun, Sep 9
Sunny
99°/76°

Mon, Sep 10 Sunny
101°/77°

Tue, Sep 11 Sunny
100°/78°

eek. i guess it's a "dry heat" and all, but still. i'll be stuck at a boring trade show for most of the time, so i hope it don't lose it. i hope our hotel isn't skanky. i hope i don't go insane without the internet. and i know it's silly, but i am not thrilled with flying on sept. 11, either.

wish me luck!

OMG

bret's "footloose" dance!!!!!!! so, so, SO AWESOME.

did you know that "fotc" has 2 meanings?

please enjoy the crazy mashup below:

hot slut of the day

oh my.

also, dunder-mifflin finally has a corporate website. i think i will apply for a job there, perhaps assistant (to the) regional manager. dwight can just go on back to the beet farm.

tomorrow i'm going to see this. woo! i hope it's good. i've seen the original like a million times. i am extremely happy this scene is featured!!!

oh, and below you will find another hot slut. this one's for my boyfriend. he recently admitted to me that he is a little bit attracted to mel. in fact, at the punk rock flea market, we were both just sitting there, silent...then he started laughing to himself. i said, "what?" and he goes, "oh, nothing. i was just thinking about mel breaking into the bathroom with a screwdriver when bret was trying to pee."

best bret shirt yet

well, maybe this one was better:

of course, this is the needlepoint of sally that bret did to impress her for her birthday, but never gave her. so i guess he made a shirt out of it. tee hee. he's also been wearing that black leather jacket constantly ever since they bought those leather suits on tour.

but then again, this one has a monkey on it. bret's shirts are flippin' awesome.

p.s. poor murray.

oh hell, here's a sixy pic of jemaine for margaret:

(all images nabbed from here.)

figwit of the conchords

how shocking, it's another flight of the conchords post! just call me mel. speaking of mel, her vlog from the other day is funny. i like her little plastic recorder. i used to have a green one. but i would pretend i was a snake charmer with it. this was about a year ago. (yah, i kid.) and, as time goes on, i am starting to REALLY love murray. a lot. he's precious. "how 'bout a bit of hay, coming out of your mouth! that would be cool!" i enjoyed murray as the goat in brit's trip, all smarmy and snarly with the beer. oh, heavens.



anyway, let's discuss the upcoming episode. oh my. :) :) :) obviously they figured out a way to incorporate the frodo song and brit's elfin (elvin? elven? meh.) past into the show. i must admit, i am not the biggest LOTR fan. i mean, i read the books a million years ago and i've seen the movies, and it's all fine and good. but it's not something that i'm "into." i just can't believe that this guy is also this guy.

only 2 shows left...and then what are we all to do?!? you can only re-watch the old ones so many times. and i've already watched them SO MANY TIMES...


here are some random fotc things that chris and i now say with considerable frequency in our every day lives:



"sixy." (or, "six," or "sixist.")



"whuh? whuh? whuh?"



"why? why? why, exactly?" (also, once in a while, "STEVE!")


"foofy fa fa...foofy FA fa fa fa faaah..." (we call the cat "foofy" a lot, so we sing it to her)


there's this guy that works at a sub shop that we like (the aforementioned beatles-themed "yellow submarine"), and he always has one of those bluetooth thingies in his ear. we went in there last friday, and we both laughed when we saw it because we both thought the same thing. i said, "sue them. just sue them."


i have issues.

you're a tasty piece of pastry

here i am, back at work after my mini-vacation. i am not happy about it. i have no energy to look for interesting links, so i will talk about flight of the conchords YET AGAIN. last night our sixy kiwis bret and jemaine temporarily gained 2 new fans, who gave them LSD and one of them convinced them to have a threesome w/ her. le sigh...they were a little freaked out by the whole thing and didn't want to look at each other during it, but seriously. why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

we got to see lots of mel this week, and her house, and a bit of mel's husband hiding in the basement in the dark. we also learned that bret can't even have one sip of beer without running to the toilet.

i also love that the only song they ever play live is "i like to rock the party." well, except at that new zealand expo with jemaine and the tape. he added those bits about the hotties at the party shakin' their boobies and their babies shakin' their booties. you know, those little woolen boots that babies wear.

as we all know, they got picked up for a second season. huzzah! i was poking around on message boards and wikipedia (the episode details w/ musical references are good) and whatnot yesterday afternoon, and i think my obsession is somewhat mild compared to some of these chickies out there. but maybe not. i guess a lot of us are needy for a weedy shy guy.

anyway, please enjoy bret's trip:

i pay my mother ucking rent fortnightly

yesterday margaret and i got sushi and beer (and then some iced coffee and a big cookie/brownie thing) and watched 8 episodes of "flight of the conchords." we sang along and even got up and danced at one point (to "foux de fa fa," of course). it was great fun. i think margy thinks jemaine is sixy, with his transactional shi.

does the space cold make your nipples go all pointy?

you know, i never just *like* things; i get totally obsessed with them. john waters once said, "life is nothing if you aren't obsessed." and i completely understand that statement. last night i was googling the conchords (ooooooh yeah) and i was crushed when i saw that they played the tla in philly in early june. JUNE! but i didn't know about them until, like, late june. DAMN IT! if and when i see them live, i...i just don't know what i will do. well, i'll sit there and listen, probably laugh a lot, probably stare at jemaine's lips and bret's awesome beard. but i digress.

i enjoy googling bret and jemaine (awwwww yeah) because everyone else seems to have the same growing obsession that i have. and that my friend margaret has. i bet she knows every word to every song by now. she does not get the hbo, and one day she was hanging out and i showed her an episode. she knew all the words to "the humans are dead" by the next day. rachel and i were listening to them in the car on friday, laughing our asses off.

jemaine does a mean bowie.




here's "mermaids" from the other night. only one song in that episode, but it was a good one. they were also so very cute in their shrunken leather suits.

and they're both so flippin' hot.

She’s so hot. She’s so flippin’ hot. She’s like a curry. I want to tell her how hot she is, but she’ll think I’m being sexist.

She’s so hot she’s making me sexist. Bitch.

yeah, so i have been listening to NOTHING but flight of the conchords for the past few days. i had some people over last night and i drunkenly made them watch some bits of some episodes. i even pre-ordered a t-shirt. i think i may need this shirt, too. i'm slowly turning into mel. but hey--i'm not the only one.

hey, my dad's name is henry!

i wonder when the next baby will be born. because you KNOW jack white's gonna have 3 kids. :)

ever wonder what to buy the pill-popper in your life who has everything? wonder no more!

how to lucid dream. wheeeeeee!

this is so funny to me.

so, i am going to vegas in september for a week. on business, mind you. BUT, this is going on while i am there! no one is going to be able to stop me from trying to get to that red carpet. just to WOO at the people i like (i'm sure there will be very few) and yell horrible things at the people i don't (which will be, like, everybody). this business trip just got WAY MORE INTERESTING!

foux da fa fa

i love bret and jemaine. deeply. i can't believe someone had sex on bret for 5 minutes the other night. poor, poor bret. everyone needs to buy their album.



that was the best.

"awww, i just wanna PARTY!"

today margy came over and we watched "goke, body snatcher from hell" and "return of the living dead." it was a good day. tomorrow we're going to new hope, weather permitting. love saves the day, here i come! now i must go and watch "flight of the conchords," because it rules. it totally rules. here, you can watch it, too:

i was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated

i love this show!!!

twiggy magazine. heh.

LOLhan. i still like those LOLcats better, though.

crappy commercials.

this headline is genius.

in other news, the baltimore foot stomper is still at large.

awww, jim halpert...*sigh*

who's the best simpsons character ever?

happy friday, everyone!