welly welly well well well...

i don't know why i don't blog anymore...well, that's a lie. i totally know why. a) i am too lazy to look around for cool links in my free time, b) i don't have that much free time, and c) i'm totally over it. i think, if i'm going to blog again, i need some kind of schtick, some kind of theme, some kind of funny angle to make it more interesting. meh.

but, i have had a bunch of people admonish me for not updating the blog, so here's the update! first what's going on with me, and then some links. maybe the LAST LINKS EVER!!! *gasp*!!

so, the holidays are winding down. thank goodness. i am so partied-and-fooded out. i got some groovy gifts, though. chris got me not one but TWO new ukes!!! one is a good one, and the other is a "crap" one. but it's pink!!!! a cute pink girlie uke, wheeeeee! it's just screaming out for a glittery hello kitty sticker or something. the good uke is awesome, it's an ohana and sounds infinitely better than the busted old johnson uke. i also got a million felt picks. chris also got me a new digital camera and pulp fiction action figures! awww, my mans. he's nifty. oh yeah, he also got me a set of miniature furniture from hong kong...a bed, 2 dressers (with working drawers) a table, 4 chairs, and a rocking chair. they are all painted with a cool asian design...oh, did i mention that they are all butane lighters?!?!? uh-huh. they are awesome! right now the wolf and jimmie from pulp fiction are at the table, drinking coffee (lotsa cream, lotsa sugar) and bloody vincent is on the bed, pointing a gun at bloody jules, who is standing on top of a dresser pointing a gun at vincent. yes, i am 34 years old and still play with action figures. i used the bed to light my cigarette earlier. cue "beds are burning" by midnight oil!!! ha.

i got a lot of other fun things, too. i have the greatest fam and friends ever! i cooked Christmas Dinner this year for mark and margaret and margy's brother harris. it was delicious. i made turkey, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, green bean casserole, corn, rolls...oh, and we had wine. DID WE EVER! then lori came over, then rachel came over, then wyatt and his friend katie came over. did i mention i drank a lot of wine that day? margaret tells me she has many "terrific (and incriminating) photos and movies" coming my way. i just may have to crawl in a hole and die. but it was fun. damn red wine. red red wine makes me feel so fine...until the next day. that was one wicked hangover. ugh.

last night i got all dolled up and went to a ra-sha-sha cocktail party. i had more red wine, but i kept everything under control. for once.

i will be spending new years with friends in the basement they converted into a kickass mini-irish pub, and in their hot tub. WOO! but that means i think i might have to buy a new bathing suit, since mine is now too big. DOUBLE-WOO!

i always intend on sticking to the new year's resolutions i half-heartedly make, but i never do. this year my big ones are drink less, eat healthier, find an exercise regimen that i actually can deal with and stick to, and swear less. if i end up doing any of those things it will be a miracle.

ok, here's a coupla links:

ukulele freakshow!

did beck drive these people to suicide?!? this story is so crazy. if you read this, make sure you follow all the links that are provided. just so nutty.

random conspiracy theories.

*sigh* see? i can't even find more than 3 links. i'm pathetic.

i think i am going to dye my hair blonde today, maybe give myself some itty-bitty bangs. new year, new hair. yep.

so, yeah. i'll be back someday, when i actually have something interesting to say. peace out, boy scouts!

ma-ma-monkey

for good measure, here is chris in his gorilla suit. the head and hands are on the sofa next to him. he had a fez, too. oh well. even in a monkey suit he's a hottie.

crazy

yes indeed, things are crazy. but i promise you that the photos that i will post from dave's party friday night will definitely make up for the lack of updates. there has never been a drunker, sloppier party than dave's party, and there were about 200 pictures taken. good one, dave! ooooh, you're a legend, dave! there was drinking, hot dog-eating, smores-making, beer pong-ing, singing, guitar-ing, hugging, tackling, wrestling, fire-peeing, accidental nipple-licking, falling down, camping out, and lots and lots of laughter. i have the best friends ever.

and if you live in san antonio, texas, go see the mighty ELECTRIC HORSEMEN, which happens to be my friend wyatt's band play on sunday (who, incidentally, just got a record deal! WOOOOOOOOOO!!). yes, they're going on tour!!! crammed in a toyota corolla, driving from pennsylvania to texas and trying to make it in 2 days. eek. but it will be worth it. rumor has it they are even better than dethklok!

ok, i guess vegas was pretty fun at first.

worst trip ever.

first of all, vegas is hot as balls. so hot that it's almost unbearable. when the wind blows, it feels like you've opened an oven door and stuck your head inside. i got insanely sick while i was there, so i spent saturday night until tuesday morning in my hotel, in bed - sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose and aching and moaning and groaning and, at one point, crying. and watching really crappy tv. BOOOOOO!!! the pain in my ears on the flight home was pure torture. my ears closed and didn't open up again until like 18 hours later. worst trip ever. i'm still in a horrible, horrible state.

i had some fun the first 3 nights, however. the first night we went to the venetian, which was nice. it looks like you're outside in italy, even though you're inside, and there is a river running through it with gondola rides. good food. i lost $20 in about 2 minutes in a slot machine. we walked into tao for about 2 seconds also.

the 2nd night we went to a crappy casino on the strip called bill's saloon and sat in their dank, dingy, 70's, velvety lounge and laughed at a crappy cover band over cheap beers. that was fun. then we met elvis and marilyn on the street on the 2nd night we were there. they wanted a tip and we ran away, because we are classy like that. then we saw the fountains at the bellagio, and the song was "viva las vegas." woo.

the 3rd night we went to a fun italian restaurant. that place was really rowdy and fun. i don't know if it's like that all the time, but we were all wooing and raising our glasses and talking to all the other tables the whole time. i got way too drunk at dinner (free unlimited wine + 2 martinis = WHOOPS, I'M DRUNK!). i got propositioned by a complete douchebag at the next table when i went outside to smoke. it literally took him about 2 seconds to ask me to have sex with him. EWWW! he was married with a baby on the way. he didn't care. he also told me he was in the CIA. what a tool. he gave me his number on his way out, even after i totally rejected him, and rachel put his number straight into her lasagna and smeared it around. hahaha.

the 4th night i went out to dinner with the girls. i felt like a had a bit of a cold coming on, so i went to bed at 9:30. yes, i was in bed at 9:30 on a friday night in vegas. and bed is where i pretty much stayed for the next 3 days. i even missed the last 2 days of our trade show. *heavy sigh* oh well. at least being sick kept me out of trouble. oh, and at about 3 a.m. on tuesday morning, about an hour before i had to wake up to fly home, i heard this really loud banging noise that startled me awake. then i realized my headboard was moving. yes, the people in the next room were obviously having WAY more fun than i was.

worst trip ever. :(

punk rockers don't like jewelry.

ugh, i hardly sold anything at the punk rock flea market. but that's okay, it was pretty cool. good tunes, cool vendors, beer, and you could smoke in there. plus several of my wunnerful friends stopped by to hang out with me for a bit. :) i probably made around $50, plus i traded stuff with other vendors...i now have a new handmade purse and wallet made with vintage fabric, a book about haight-ashbury and a new patch for my army jacket. i also got a free punk rock coloring book and comic. the whole thing would have been better if i wasn't INSANELY HUNGOVER from the day before. waaaaaah...i was doing okay at the beginning, even had a few beers. but then about halfway through the day i got an intensely nauseating, pounding headache. so i packed up at 5, came home, took a nap, and made myself some eggs. i am feeling much, much better. but the hangover was worth it; rachel's party ruled! so so so so fun. there's a pretty decent chunk of the night that i don't really remember at all...but i think i did pretty well for someone that was drinking for 8 hours straight.

check out the awesome sign dave made for me

this is for my stand at the punk rock flea market on sunday. good one, dave! oooh, you're a legend, dave...

do you feel lucky? well, do ya, punk?

one night with you

elvis died 30 years ago today, and i remember it. my mom was quite distraught, to put it mildly. so here's the hottest pic of the real elvis that i could find, and jack white as elvis. yum.

i'm on 'oliday!

i have the next 3 days off (plus the weekend, so really 5 days off) and i couldn't be happier! i plan on making as many necklaces as humanly possible for the big punk rawk flea market coming up. i also plan on doing some art, drinking many beers, eating somewhat poorly, staying up way too late, etc. oh, on friday night 2 of my nephews are sleeping over. that'll be a riot. they are 10 and 12 years old, and very cool and hilarious. they want me to take them to the beatles-themed sub shop in my neighborhood (aptly named "yellow submarine") because i made a very deliberate effort to get them into the beatles when they were teeny tiny little tykes. we also plan on playing lots of video games and staying up super-late. i am the cool aunt. i let them do whatever they want and eat whatever they want. woooooo!

let's see...what else is going on...i lost 21 pounds on weight watchers! awwww yeah!! i feel great. i didn't realize that i was such a fatass.

ummm...i watched a bunch of joan crawford movies within the past 2 weeks. there were a bunch of joan flicks on turner classic movies, so i DVR-ed most of them. i saw a few that i love ("possessed," "mildred pierce,"), a few that i've never seen before ("flamingo road," "autumn leaves," "berzerk" - i only managed to get through less than half of that piece of crap), and one that i haven't seen in years, "trog." which is the most ridiculously awesome movie ever! i am never deleting it, ever ever. sadly, they did not air "strait-jacket." which, incidentally, i gave to mark and margaret as an engagement gift. i think i have issues. anyway, i friggin' love joan crawford.

here are random pictures that i have on my computer right now.

little mondo

i look like i'm about 2 licks away from a sugar coma. oh, man, we had the most 70's kitchen in the history of 70's kitchens!

thanks to kristin for posting that on my myspace. i must've given her that pic about 18 years ago. i wonder what other embarrassing childhood pics she's got of me?!? ack! :)

UPDATE: she apparently has at least one more.

awwww man, i LOVED that shirt...

high in the middle and round on both ends

we are off to ohio for a long weekend to hang out with chris' family (with a possible detour to the warhol museum in pittsburgh). woo!

lobster girl

here's a picture of jack white wearing a "jack" belt buckle. just because. man, that show the other night...whew! i can't stop talking about it. so, so, SO good. it's amazing that i saw both the absolute worst and the absolute best shows in the span of one week. the show with the champagne incident was previously the best show ever, but it has officially been replaced.

today was my company picnic. it was at a reading phillies game. free buffet, but not free beer. BOO! it was about 6 million degrees outside, and i am sunburned. ow. it was raining all night last night and all morning, and then the rain just let up before the game. i thought it would not be sunny, so i didn't put any sunblock on. but i was very, very wrong. ugh. it got crazy bright and sunny and there was no shade so The Palest Girl on Earth (i.e. me) is already red red RED. ugh. i did have 3 beers at the game, and 2 more since i've been home, and "mean streets" is on the HBO, so all is right with the world. man, the "mean streets" soundtrack is so killer...


ooh, don't forget:














i will be shoving this down the throats of whomever reads this blog for the next month. and hopefully i will not make every post about the white stripes. i'll try to control myself, i promise.

smash your head on the punk rock flea market

if you live in the reading, pa area, i highly encourage you to stop by the first-ever punk rock flea market on august 26th! it's gonna be awesome, with garage & punk music, alcohol, and awesome cheap stuff to buy! what more could you want? i will have a booth there, with my handmade jewelry (of course), vintage dresses, probably some records, DVDs, maybe some art and some kitschy items. i'm sure that i will spend every penny i earn that day on drinks and other people's stuff, but hey. whatever.

f*@k da police

saw the police last night. my opinion? move over, the who show of summer 2000! you have been replaced with a new "worst concert ever!"

first of all, the venue is one mere hour away from us, and it took us like 3 hours to get there. the traffic situation was not good. but fine, whatever...we anticipated this, so we got there in plenty of time to get some much-needed food and drinks and visits to the port-o-pottys (which is always SUCH a joy). but the weather was awesome. sunny with a nice cool breeze. we missed the opening band, which was also a plus. the police played everything you'd expect them to, and a few of them sounded decent. one or two actually sounded good. but most of them were just AWFUL. my favorite po-po song, "don't stand so close to me," was really slow and he sang the whole song in the lower register and all jazzy...ick. it just didn't work. like i said, there were a few songs that sounded good, like "every little thing she does is magic." i never was all gung-ho about that song before, but it stands out because it was apparently the best they could do last night. "synchronicity II" was good. "wrapped around your finger" was okay. but ohhhhhh, mostly it was just so boring and bad. at one point, kenny & john & i were talking about what they're going to do with the hardwood flooring in their spare room. while the police were on stage. the talking amongst the crowd was pretty loud in general. oh, and there was pan flute. need i say more?

so, we left at the encore, which i never, ever do (except at the aforementioned who show. we can discuss that another time). but we were thinking this was a smart move and we could get out of the venue easier. HA! practically the whole damn place left early, they were all like, "screw these guys, we're goin' home!" friends of ours that was a few rows behind us called and said they looked over and our entire section was gone. so we sat in that parking lot trying to get out for 2 hours. freakin' literally. like, we seriously moved just a few yards in 2 hours. it was really awful. then, after we managed to actually get on the highway, we still sat in traffic for who knows how long. we got in the car to leave at 10:30 and i didn't get home until 2 am. all in all, it was a 10-hour ordeal. it was a nightmare. it was a debacle. it was horrible. it was a disaster. it might have been better if the show didn't suck so bad...but it did. it sucked so bad. and, if you read my post yesterday, you will note that i woke up at 4:30 am. i didn't fall asleep until 3:30 am. i was up for 23 hours (save fore the 15 minutes or so of dozing off i did in the car. DAMN. those bastards. that douchebag and his pan flute. i hate them.

p.s. was this guy at the same show i was??

the sunshine bores the daylights out of me

that there is my favorite line on "exile on main street." which is the best stones album ever. i was listening to it on the way home from work today. i'm sure there are better lines than that on the album, but i like the buildup leading up to that line. starts everything off right.

chris told me that the other day paul harvey said that mick jagger used to be a really, really good singer in the traditional sense, and was in this boy band-type group. then, he bit off the tip of his tongue somehow and that caused him to develop the style of singing that we all know and love. i don't know...i've been into the stones for a LONG TIME and i've never heard that story before...but i googled it and it seems to be true. hmm. what's more unbelievable to me is that chris was listening to paul harvey...

so, let's see, what else...i've lost 8 lbs so far on weight watchers!! woooooooo! it really isn't that hard, to be honest. i'm not really eating less than i did before, i'm just eating better. and i've lost these 8 lbs. all while drinking pretty much the same amount of beer that i normally do. i just sacrifice my food points for beer points. does that make me an alcoholic? i'm thinking no. i just have my priorities in check. okay, maybe that statement makes me an alcoholic.

cat cam!

print this out and keep this handy for the next telemarketer call you get.

here is your daily white stripes update.

rawk!

check out me and my friend kristin in the summer of 1992. YEAH! that was our "young ones"-esque "PISS OFF!" stance. this was taken in a photobooth in indiana where we hung out together for 10 days. we went to james dean's grave (where i left a lipstick kiss on the headstone, and this old lady who worked at the museum who i think was his great aunt or something told us that "jimmy would've loved our individuality." !!!!!!!), saw guns n' roses, metallica, and faith no more from the 9th row or something like that at the hoosier dome (the show we saw was right after some crazy gn'r riot--which made our mothers very nervous-- and right before james hetfield burned his arm off in a pyrotechnic accident. also notable: mike patton crawled towards me on the stage, singing at me and staring at me with a psychotic look in his eye. i will never forget it. roddy bottum also noticed us, because we were so close and the only punk rock chicks there. and i swore that duff gave me a "look," but that might've been wishful thinking).

we also drank booze out of a shampoo bottle because i was afraid to take a real bottle of liquor with me on the plane. i was only 19, and dumb. i snuck it from my dad's liquor cabinet. mmmmm...vodka with a hint of pantene...nothing like it. i specifically remember that it was pantene, because that's the shampoo jimmy page used, according to miss pamela. i was so silly. actually, i still use pantene...

i spilled a ginormous soda all over the place in a mcdonald's, and spilled an entire glass of milk all over her little sister's homework. i was a hot mess, apparantly. let's see, what else did we do...i discovered that the pizza hut breadsticks in indiana are different than the ones in pennsylvania. we unsuccessfully tried to find someone with pot, we drank her mom's southern comfort out of the bottle while watching horror movies (i think one of them was "trilogy of terror"), and saw "wayne's world" in the $1 theater twice. i remember buying sonic youth's "dirty" there, and beastie boys "check your head." i also bought a "live at CBGB's" record, a dress from the 40's, and a cool burgundy jaquard robe that can only really be described as some swanky fellow of yore's smoking jacket. wow, i miss that robe...i also remember watching the "90120" episode where brenda finds out that kelly and dylan were bangin' while she was in paris. why do i remember stuff like that?

we also went to king's island in cincinnati to meet up with this guy who i was writing to for over a year, and secretly in love with but never met before. you see, we were all pen pals. yes, it's true. seeing the guy made me totally insane because he was cool as hell and hotter than his pictures, and i cried on the way home. after we met, our regular weekly letters turned into bi-weekly "if only we lived closer..." letters. then we would, like, paint pictures for each other and send them, talk on the phone a lot, etc...he would write songs for me and record them, and we'd make each other meaningful mix tapes. eventually, a year later, he came to visit me when i got my first apartment and all hell broke loose. in a good way. then he cheated on me and broke my heart. in a bad way. but whatever, it was fun and it makes for a good story.

wow, what great memories crammed into those 10 little days. when she dropped me off at the airport when it was time for me to go home, we both cried. we were the best of friends, and then we lost touch. then we found each other again, and then we had some sort of squabble and i told her off in a not-very nice email. :( and now we're back in touch, thanks to the wonders of the internet. awwww, i love you, ravy gravy!!! :)

people born on this date in history

1795 - Johns Hopkins, American philanthropist (d. 1873)
1797 - Maria Isabel of Portugal, queen of Spain (d. 1818)
1870 - Albert Fish, American serial killer (d. 1936)
1890 - Ho Chi Minh, Vietnamese leader (d. 1969)
1925 - Malcolm X, American civil rights activist (d. 1965)
1934 - Jim Lehrer, American television journalist
1941 - Nora Ephron, American screenwriter
1945 - Pete Townshend, English musician (The Who)
1946 - André the Giant, French professional wrestler (d. 1993)
1948 - Grace Jones, Jamaican singer and actress
1949 - Dusty Hill, American blues rock singer/bassist (ZZ Top)
1951 - Joey Ramone, American musician (The Ramones) (d. 2001)
1954 - Phil Rudd, Australian drummer (AC/DC)
1968 - Kyle Eastwood, American jazz musician; son of Clint Eastwood
1973 - mondo retro, insignifigant internet blogger and frequent hair-dyer

happy birthday to me! the night is young, but so far this is the best birthday in a long time. who knew 34 would be so fun? (images courtesy of the wunnerful big happy funhouse)

the good, the bad, and the ugly

first, the bad: my sweet gramma passed away yesterday, on her 92nd birthday. i loved this woman so much; i spent so much time with her in my childhood, and a lot of time in the last few years of her life. she lived a great, full life, i know... but i am just so sad. she was totally mentally with it until maybe the last month, so that was really a blessing...but, she fell out of her chair and broke some bones and had internal bleeding, so there was nothing they could do but put her in hospice and keep her comfortable. i credit her for my love of yard sales and flea markets and farmer's markets and johnny cash. she made the best holiday dinners i've ever had...this woman would get up at 3 am and make these giant meals all by herself, and EVERYONE would come to her house...my family, my aunt and her family, my uncle and his family, gramma's stepbrother and his family, various friends...just everyone. her house was packed all day and all night. she was really wonderful, and i've been kind of a mess for the past week because she couldn't speak or keep her eyes open, and she looked nothing like the gramma i've always known. in one of the last conversations i had with her, she told me how special i was to her, and i told her the same...we talked a lot about when i was little, how every weekend i would sleep over at her house, just because i wanted to be with her. during the summer, i would stay for weeks at a time. and i lived in the same town! i just loved being at her house, and hanging out with these 2 other girls that went to my school and lived on her block. and she spolied me rotten, of course. :)





i am thankful that she is at peace now, and finally with my pappy (who passed away in 1998 at 88 years old...he tripped and fell coming inside the house because "the price is right" was on. i shit you not. that man never missed "the price is right" a day in his life.) my 2 sisters and i are going to be pallbearers at her funeral along with chris, my sister's husband, and my cousin. that's gonna be a tough one. my mom also asked if i wanted to speak at the funeral, but i don't think i can get through it...





and now, the good...





despite my grieving state, chris and i got up at 5 am and magically whisked ourselves away to delaware ("hi...i'm in delaware...") to wait in line for white stripes tickets. it was only a little over an hour away, and there were like 50 people in line already when we got there. eek! but, after careful calculating, we felt secure that we would get some tickets, and we did! wooooooo! and we got pretty decent seats (see above photo, we are in the very front row of that side section. not too shabby!). we each bought two tickets, because we overheard that practically everyone was buying 4 (the limit), and if you bought 2, the availablity was closer to the stage. i think that the theory was correct, because this girl who was at least 10 people ahead of us in line bought 4 and came out and her tickets were in the very back. and she didn't look too pleased. at any rate, looks like 2 of our lucky friends will be going to the show with us! or, two lucky ebayers will be paying a retarded amount of $$$ for these tickets at the last minute if we can't find anyone to go.

the venue, the grand opera house in fabulous downtown wilmington, seats a mere 1,100, so there isn't really a bad seat in the house. i mean, seriously. look how small this place is!!! and the top of the bulding (in the center with the two little windows and the triangle) looks like a chicken!!

this place seems to be or once was a masonic lodge...hmmm...my dad's a mason...wonder if i can get him to pull some strings? "ok dad, i've never asked you to use your masonic connections ever before in my whole life...now's the time. i need to meet jack white. make it so!!!"


the place looks totally cool inside, too. so, i'm really excited. this will be white stripes shows #5 for me (#3 for chris), and only my 2nd indoor stripes show. this is shaping up to be a good summer for me, concert-wise. bob dylan, the police, and the white stripes all in the span of one month. we also have loose plans to go back to the rock n' roll hall of fame this year, because there's a big doors thing. but also because it's awesome. we went in '03 and it was seriously one of the best times ever. and hopefully we can hit up cedar point again and get our coaster on as well.

and what is the ugly, you may ask? well, i decided to make some jell-o this afternoon. strawberry! mmmmmm. but a little boring all by itself. i have no cool whip handy, and i didn't feel like going to the store just for cool whip, you know? then i remembered when we would get jell-o in school, and it would always have bits of delicious fruit floating delicately and evenly throughout the jell-o blob. hey, i thought...i have some blackberries! that would be de-lish!!! WELL. they all sunk to the bottom of the bowl. how in the hell do you get them to float around?!? am i an idiot? what am i not understanding here? do you have to put it on its side, or add them halfway through the chilling process, or what? maybe it has to be made in like a long flat pan and not a bowl...whatEVER. eating that later is gonna be u-g-l-y...i ain't got no alibi, it's UGLY! i'd take a picture of it, but a certain co-worker of mine (accidentally) spilled an ENTIRE BEER on my camera in orlando and now it doesn't work. i'm not going to mention any names...MARTY!!!! >:(

*heavy sigh* this is all too much. i'm gonna take a nap now.

love.

happy birthday, schmoop! i hope your special birthday lasagna "gets" good and i hope you like your presents...