you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons

this is so, so, SO FUNNY. try not to read the letter until the sound kicks in. i laughed until i cried, clutching my siddddddddddde.

warning: this is very disturbing, dahhhling.

i'm gonna lay right into you

r.i.p.

what is going on this week with amazing directors passing away?

:(

if you've never seen this, you MUST. must must must.

my sick clown name is Funzo Booger Dangles.

what's yours?

or, if you are a guy that hates clowns, this may be more to your liking.

r.i.p. ingmar bergman.

you don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

wow, these guys must really rock.

hmmm, what's going on here?

get your kicks...

best tear-jerkers ever, part 1. i personally have cried at # 49, #44, i love #42 but i never cried, #39, #36 (and yes, i am ashamed of myself), #34, #29, #28, and #27. i'm sure when the top 25 comes out i will have cried at most, if not all, of them.

there are a few movies that make me cry every single time i see them, no matter how many times. "it's a wonderful life" (if this movie does not make you cry, then you have no soul), "harold and maude," "breakfast at tiffany's," "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind," and "the royal tenenbaums." i'm crying at "tenenbaums" within the first 5 minutes, every time. when young richie lets mordecai go and "hey jude" is playing...oh man. i could cry right now.

lobster girl

here's a picture of jack white wearing a "jack" belt buckle. just because. man, that show the other night...whew! i can't stop talking about it. so, so, SO good. it's amazing that i saw both the absolute worst and the absolute best shows in the span of one week. the show with the champagne incident was previously the best show ever, but it has officially been replaced.

today was my company picnic. it was at a reading phillies game. free buffet, but not free beer. BOO! it was about 6 million degrees outside, and i am sunburned. ow. it was raining all night last night and all morning, and then the rain just let up before the game. i thought it would not be sunny, so i didn't put any sunblock on. but i was very, very wrong. ugh. it got crazy bright and sunny and there was no shade so The Palest Girl on Earth (i.e. me) is already red red RED. ugh. i did have 3 beers at the game, and 2 more since i've been home, and "mean streets" is on the HBO, so all is right with the world. man, the "mean streets" soundtrack is so killer...


ooh, don't forget:














i will be shoving this down the throats of whomever reads this blog for the next month. and hopefully i will not make every post about the white stripes. i'll try to control myself, i promise.

woo!

i forgot to mention, he played a tiny riff of "i feel fine" by the beatles, and the entire place almost had a heart attack.

mississippi asked michigan, "what did delaware?" "idaho, alaska!"

crazy half-drunk white stripes post-show report

i am just going to type all of this as it comes to me, and not bother editing it or correcting spelling errors. i just really need to get this down while it is still fresh in my mind, for posterity's sake.

that was hands down, BAR NONE the best show i have ever been to in my life, by ANYONE. it was insane. we could not BELIEVE how awesome our seats were. i'm so glad we waited in line for hours and hours for those tickets. it was worth it.

so, we get to wilmington around 5:30 or so, maybe 6...we went into this restaurant 821 right across the street from the grand opera house. they had a white stripes themed dinner menu and 2 different white stripes martinis. i had the Denial Twist. anyway, we're sitting at the bar drinking, and one of the white stripes' people came in. (she was wearing a badge that she was with the band...actually it was more like a sticker. but ANYWAY...) she asked the bartender if she could have one of the menus, because the white stripes heard about it and wanted a copy. they told her that she couldn't have a real one until later, but shhe could make a copy of it. she says ok, and leaves. so what do i do? i snatched a menu and shoved it up my skirt. we left after a few drinks and i was like, "if i see that chick, i'm gonna give her the menu and then maybe i'll get to meet jack white somehow because i was cool like that..." yes, that is probably exactly what went through my mind just then. i am crazy. anyway, i never saw her, i i have this menu now. AND my martini was free! so far, best pre-dinner drinks ever.

we go inside and we immediately bought 2 posters, because they are unique to each show, and numbered (ours is 69 of 270 or something like that). they're all done by rob jones, whom i have mentioned in the past, and did the QT fest poster kenny got me for Christmas last year. i emailed rob jones and asked him some raconteurs poster question, and he was really nice and cool. anyway, i also bought a white stripes sewing kit. :)

so, we go to our seats, freak out about how good they are, and go back to get drinks. let me say that the grand opera house is an AWESOME place to see a show. it's beautiful and comfortable and the people who work there are so nice. chris ordered a jack and coke (and we joked about the irony of jack and coke, like jack white and coca-cola) and the bartender filled up 2/3 of the cup with jack and put like 5 drops of coke in. chris was like, "woo-hoo!" i got a heineken. we sat back down, watched dan sartrain, who was really good. chris got more drinks--another lethal jack and coke and a heiney for me) and soon the show starts. oh, the drinks were CHEAP! $3 for bber and $4 for a mixed drink. that is not bad AT ALL. also, i didn't have to wait in line for the bathroom AT ALL, and when i went during dan sartain 2 ushers lit their flashlights and led me out. it was so cool, like something people did in the 50's, back when america had class. so far, best concert ever!

so eventually jack and meg walked out, and the place just went wild and stayed wild the entire night, singing to every song, even new ones ("i'm slowly turning into you" was totally, totally great with the "WOO's" and the whole crowd singing it and clapping...jack white went "YEAH!" when we did that; also smiled a lot during "we're going to be friends." the set list was insane!!!

Dead leaves

You don't know what love is

cannon>

john the revelator

joke "what did mississippi ask michigan?"

Catch Hell

Hotel Yorba

Finding it harder to be a gentleman>

Truth doesn't make a noise(!!!)>

I Think i smell a rat>

Screwdriver (slow-ish)>

Rat riff

I fought piranhas

Icky Thump

Cold Cold Night

Same Boy You've always known

Story about soldiers becoming sailors and the water beneath??

Hardest Button

Slowing turning into you

______break

Black math

Wasting my Time

We're going to be friends

Bound to pack it up riff for about a split second!!!!

300MPH torrential outpour blues

7 nation army

apple blossom

ugly as i seem

I just don't know what to do with myself

Boll Weevil--really fantastic version!

i just got that set list off a white stripes message board. i will post all photos and audio of the show as i find it. there was a LOT of recording and picture-taking happening, so this is gonna be cool. every single person there was SO INTO IT. including jack and meg. it was amazing.

jack was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US the entire time, and we were on the side and completely eye-level with him and there was no one in front of us at all. it was perfect. it was SO LOUD, it was great. there were a lot of really incredible moments. and he looked right at me during the intro for "i fought piranhas." yay! all my primping paid off! ha. i looked a haggard mess at the end of that show. i was dancing around the whole time, and my mascara ran and my hair was all messy. it was funny.

there was a big disco ball and it was fun when they turned the lights down. the also has some good crazy lighting action during some of the songs, like "catch hell blues." meg was wearing a white toop and black pants, and jack was all red from head to toe. i was wearing a black t-shirt withh tiny red stripes on it and a black skirt. i went as a candy cane child tonight.

delaware REALLY showed the white stripes the love tonight. everyone was singing along to everything and clapping and dancing and rockin' out...it was just awesome.

he also told a delaware joke early on, and recounted a dream he'd had the other night. so crazy! i also saw him give meg a little kiss on the side of her head after whispering something in her ear, and it was really cute.

i just can't stress how awesome they sounded. jack was totally out of control. "i just don't know what to do with myself" was really great, he just let us sing that line. everything was crazy good.

at the end (after the like 45 minute encore!!!!) jack goes, "thank you, we really appreciate it so much...we really do. thank you..." because everyone was just cheering for them SO MUCH, thanking them for this awesome show. they both looked happy. oh, during "7 nation army" he sang, "far from this opera house forever more," and that was cute.

there were tons of people taping the show and taking pictures, so tomorrow all that stuff should turn up. i can't wait! best show ever. ever ever ever. i'm sure i will remember more tomorrow...time for bed now...

here's some reviews and other stuff.

i am insane when it comes to getting ready for a rock show.

i can't believe white stripes day is finally here! i am beyond excited. i got my hair did last night (not specifically for the show or anything), and it looks bitchin'. it's dark at the bangs (which have been cut into teeny baby bangs) with big blonde chunks in it, and lighter brown and darker blonde all over...it's total retro-meets-rock-chick hair. i love it. i did buy a vintage dress from the 40's at love saves the day to wear tonight, but i think i might wear something else. it's going to be hot today, and i want to be comfortable. we shall see. i also bought a dress for the show a few months ago, and i am totally not going to wear that tonight. i also have a few options if i want to go the black, red, and white route. again, we shall see.

i have always put much effort into my concert attire. why? who knows. i remember my first ramones show in high school, i BEGGED my mom to give me money to go to zipperhead on south street and buy something cool to wear. and she did. :) it was this cool vintage purple dress and i wore ripped-up black tights with it, and and army jacket and combat boots. i also remember the outfit i bought for my first bob dylan show. i looked so fly. it was a tight-fitting green and black jersey t-shirt thing and little black pants. i was going for the "bob dylan '65" look. usually for white stripes shows i dress like a candy cane child, but i don't think so for tonight. we are going to an opera house, so i think i may need to kick things up a notch.

i can remember what i was wearing for every important (and sometimes unimportant) thing that has ever happened to me. so odd. anyway, i will write an insanely long post about the show tomorrow, i'm sure.

smash your head on the punk rock flea market

if you live in the reading, pa area, i highly encourage you to stop by the first-ever punk rock flea market on august 26th! it's gonna be awesome, with garage & punk music, alcohol, and awesome cheap stuff to buy! what more could you want? i will have a booth there, with my handmade jewelry (of course), vintage dresses, probably some records, DVDs, maybe some art and some kitschy items. i'm sure that i will spend every penny i earn that day on drinks and other people's stuff, but hey. whatever.

creed for governor!

July 26, 02:11 PM

Creed Thoughts

(from www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts)

So I’ve been thinking about running for Governor. There’re a lot of things wrong with Pennsylvania and since nobody’s answering my letters over at the Governor’s Office in Philadelphia, I think it’s time to take matters into my own hands. I know what you’re thinking and yes, they are wrinkled, but they’re still strong.


Number One on my list of changes: Pennsylvania should change its name to Transylvania. Lots of idiots buy all kinds of vampire rings and vampire necklaces and garlic-flavored vampire gum. There’s a lot of dough to be made from these suckers and I’m tired of seeing it go to foreigners. If we change the name of the state, we can probably do away with property tax considering the amount of souvenirs we’re going to sell. Also, vampire fans are notoriously good tippers.


Number Two: Cops’ uniforms should be neon yellow. The get-ups they wear now make it too hard to see them coming at night and I’m tired of those jerks sneaking up on me. If I’m elected Governor, I want to make sure that people know where cops are at all times.


Number Three: Soup kitchens have to offer more variety. From what I’ve heard, they serve the same soup two, three times a week. People really get sick of mushroom barley all the time, you know?


Number Three and a Half: Mushroom Barley soup will be illegal across the state. Honestly, I don’t think anyone’s going to miss it.


Number Four: Increase funding to all public schools.


Number Five: I will institute a database with pictures of every resident in the state naked. Every five years, a citizen can request to view any one person’s naked picture for a viewing period of ten minutes. After they’ve used up their viewing, they have to wait another five years until they can view another. It’s just not fair for all these foxy ladies to be walking around without anyone being able to see them naked. This is going to be the cornerstone of my campaign.


I’ve got a lot more ideas for making this state the best in the country and if you vote for me, I promise to listen to everything you have to say. Now, I know I haven’t voted for the past fifty years, but I think that’s going to give me a real leg up on the competition because they can’t attack me for my voting record. Stick with me and we’ll make some real changes to this stupid square state.


Vote Creed for Governor: “The Guy Who’s Going to Make You Rich Off of People Who Believe in Vampires!”

"awww, i just wanna PARTY!"

today margy came over and we watched "goke, body snatcher from hell" and "return of the living dead." it was a good day. tomorrow we're going to new hope, weather permitting. love saves the day, here i come! now i must go and watch "flight of the conchords," because it rules. it totally rules. here, you can watch it, too:

best SNL skit ever

and look! it's conan!

it's pretty sad when feldman is lookin' cooler than haim.

this is really scraping the bottom of the reality tv barrel.

f*@k da police

saw the police last night. my opinion? move over, the who show of summer 2000! you have been replaced with a new "worst concert ever!"

first of all, the venue is one mere hour away from us, and it took us like 3 hours to get there. the traffic situation was not good. but fine, whatever...we anticipated this, so we got there in plenty of time to get some much-needed food and drinks and visits to the port-o-pottys (which is always SUCH a joy). but the weather was awesome. sunny with a nice cool breeze. we missed the opening band, which was also a plus. the police played everything you'd expect them to, and a few of them sounded decent. one or two actually sounded good. but most of them were just AWFUL. my favorite po-po song, "don't stand so close to me," was really slow and he sang the whole song in the lower register and all jazzy...ick. it just didn't work. like i said, there were a few songs that sounded good, like "every little thing she does is magic." i never was all gung-ho about that song before, but it stands out because it was apparently the best they could do last night. "synchronicity II" was good. "wrapped around your finger" was okay. but ohhhhhh, mostly it was just so boring and bad. at one point, kenny & john & i were talking about what they're going to do with the hardwood flooring in their spare room. while the police were on stage. the talking amongst the crowd was pretty loud in general. oh, and there was pan flute. need i say more?

so, we left at the encore, which i never, ever do (except at the aforementioned who show. we can discuss that another time). but we were thinking this was a smart move and we could get out of the venue easier. HA! practically the whole damn place left early, they were all like, "screw these guys, we're goin' home!" friends of ours that was a few rows behind us called and said they looked over and our entire section was gone. so we sat in that parking lot trying to get out for 2 hours. freakin' literally. like, we seriously moved just a few yards in 2 hours. it was really awful. then, after we managed to actually get on the highway, we still sat in traffic for who knows how long. we got in the car to leave at 10:30 and i didn't get home until 2 am. all in all, it was a 10-hour ordeal. it was a nightmare. it was a debacle. it was horrible. it was a disaster. it might have been better if the show didn't suck so bad...but it did. it sucked so bad. and, if you read my post yesterday, you will note that i woke up at 4:30 am. i didn't fall asleep until 3:30 am. i was up for 23 hours (save fore the 15 minutes or so of dozing off i did in the car. DAMN. those bastards. that douchebag and his pan flute. i hate them.

p.s. was this guy at the same show i was??

vacation, all i ever wanted...vacation had to get away...

this is the first day of my mini-vacation, and i wake up at 4:30 am. typical.

image courtesy of bighappyfunhouse. which i constantly mention as my favorite site ever.

tonight i am going to see the police. sometime within the next 4 days chris and i are going to the beach one day, and amusement park another day, and hopefully new hope another day. also probably planting flowers and/or mulching. woo! then i go back to work for about 1 hour on wednesday, and i get to leave to oversee a photoshoot. WOOO! i have to work all day thursday (BOOO!), BUT i only have 1/2 day friday, because that is white stripes day!!! WOOO! i actually took the 1/2 day in case they do some of that crazy surprise show action in the states like they just did in canada. if i missed seeing them on a bus or in a bowling alley or at the old folks home down the street or something because i was AT WORK, well...that would NOT be good. or maybe we'll just go down there early and drink white stripes-themed martinis all afternoon! actually, i'd like to see the simpsons movie , since it comes out that day.

anyway...

yes! YES YES YES YES YES!

i'm hoping this is the real jenny holzer. probably not, though.

not sure who jenny holzer is?

jenny holzer kind of rules.

100 greatest cover songs of all time.

i didn't have a real one either...i had a knockoff when i was in 5th grade. it was red and i put a michael jackson button in it.

speaking of 80's fads that no one understands...

elvis' favorite pound cake.

darjeeling limited poster.

some of you might wonder what i did with my life before 2005, when i started this blog. well, wonder no more!! most of the pictures are gone, but the rest of the silliness is still there.

i kind of liked re-reading august '02, for a number of reasons. a lot of crazy stuff happened, and would you just LOOK at those hideous web pages!! what was i thinking?!? hahaha. man, i wish all the images were still there...

"rock n' roll is an insatiable bitch goddess"

this is going to be a dumb post. there is nothing going on on the internet today, and i'm just feeling kind of blah in general. yesterday was very nice, though...we woke up early and went to kenny & john's yard sale, where we bought a ginormous candle from them. then we went and got sushi with mark and margy, where we developed the concept of a "happy days" spin-off called "i sat on it." fonzie married that boring, normal woman with the child at the end of the "happy days" series, right? so this would continue from there, with fonzie's whole life going to shit. he becomes totally uncool, potsie ends up being his boss, he tries to turn something on by punching it, like a jukebox or the lights or something, and it falls apart...he gives himself the thumbs-down in the mirror, and says "uggggggh" instead of "AYYYYYYY..." and instead of hanging up his "cool" leather jacket, he hangs up his pathetic smock from the acme supermarket that says "arthur" on the front, or whatever. so funny.

then we all went to a giant book bonanza. i got 7 books for $3.25...a betty crocker meat cookbook from the 70's, a casserole cookbook from who knows when (they both have gloriously hideous photographs of the food, though), some crazy book called "what rock is all about," (i guess it was to help teenagers in the 70's be not as clueless and lame? the book itself if spretty clueless and lame, however), and some crafty books from the 70's. oh, and "when rabbit howls." i love crazy people books! and a charlie brown book, too.

after the book bonanza, we got ice cream. YAAAAAAAY! what a good day that was. in contrast, today was pointless. except i went out this afternoon and picked up a cute pair of pants.

web zen.

awwww...

again, awwww!

jack white in a kilt.

season 2 of "dexter" is coming soon! woo!

i can't believe she's still alive, to be honest.

if you liked "lost skeleton of cadavra," you'll be sure to love this!

rocklahoma, y'all!

i am so going to watch this tonight, i'll totally admit it.

pauldinello.net. just because.

flour power

ewwww. scroll down to "cheaters share cautionary tales."

dude...

"femme fatal."

zombie food pyramid. (via growabrain)

the white stripes play a flour mill.

death of the album? never, i say!!

true office confessions.

i was raised by a rapper and rhino that dated

i love this show!!!

twiggy magazine. heh.

LOLhan. i still like those LOLcats better, though.

crappy commercials.

this headline is genius.

in other news, the baltimore foot stomper is still at large.

awww, jim halpert...*sigh*

who's the best simpsons character ever?

happy friday, everyone!

it's fun to play at the YMCA

man, i hope they do this stuff when they come to my neck of the woods!

how to give an indian head massage. whatever that is.

high art.

awww, poor kitty.

interview with the mighty dennis hopper.

the white stripes will play anywhere

and i love it!





they even played on a bus! those lucky canadians. they don't have to lock their doors at night, they have great healthcare, and now this.

yes, that guy on the right is emo phillips.

i had such a nice day today...i slept in, got sushi with miss margy, got a cool vintage shirt at flashback's after lunch, and later went out for martinis with my mans. we sat outside and it was just lovely. and last night i had a big gay dance party in my living room! it was awesome. "buffalo stance," anyone? anyway, my boys were all bummed because their morrissey show got canceled. i hope i was a suitable substitute. ha. i'm sure i SO wasn't, dancing around the house drunkenly, as i am apt to do...but we can't have everyone gazing at their shoes, sad and depressed, now can we?

right now i am watching "the song remains the same" on vh1 classic while the man and the cat are sleeping. i haven't seen this since high school. and it's just not sitting well with me. don't get me wrong, i LOVE zeppelin. deeply. but this particular concert (or rather, concerts edited together) just doesn't do it for me. and these little vignettes with them riding horses and swordfighting and being pirates and wearing cloaks and getting all mystical...uggggh. no thanks. although i have always enjoyed robert plant's pants...

meditation: not just a bunch of hooey.

simpsons movie goodness! play the wrecking ball game! make your own simpsons guy!

top cult shows ever. my faves? #30, 29, 26, 24, 21, 15, 13, 12, 9, 8, 7, 6, and, yes, 1. i admit it. i like star trek.

oh, sweet! vh1 classic is now playing "traveling riverside blues," which was all over mtv in 1990 and was included on the zeppelin box set, which i got for Christmas that year--on cassette! YEAH! i was so happy. i haven't heard this in a long time, either. anyway, moving on:

how did my "2 do" list end up on the internet?!

i think we are going here tomorrow, just because we were talking about it tonight. it's so close, and it's weird that neither of us ever thought to go there before. maybe it's not interesting at all. in my head, it looks like "edward scissorhands" there, but i'm sure it really doesn't.

woo, new burritos!

japanese human art.