is it just me...

...or does anyone else think it's weird that andy capp has a line of fries? steak, BBQ, cheddar, hot, chili, salsa...he's got it all. it's not like he's this wildly popular american icon or anything. at least i don't think he is. "mom? can we get some andy capp fries? i wanna be cool like him! i love his green plaid hat and his old hag of a wife!" and you know what's weirder? andycapp.com wants you to use andy's image as a marketing tool. apparently only the freeze-dried vending-machine french fry industry has taken them up on it.

the bob

so, if you know me you know that i love bob dylan. deeply. i first discovered bob in high school, where i thought he was sort of good, but i just didn't really get it (or i wasn't quite ready for him yet). then, when i was 21 or 22, this dude i knew had this mix tape he made called "a taste of bob." it was his own personal mix that he made specifically to introduce a new fan to the man's music. so, i got this tape, popped it in, and started driving around. the first song was "like a rolling stone." meh, i thought. i know this one. the second song was "visions of johanna." and that was IT. the song wasn't even over and i was like, "this is my favorite song in the whole world!" i was so totally blown away. to this day it remains my all-time favorite song ever, by anyone. the rest of the tape was awesome, by the way..."talking bear mountain picnic massacre blues," "abandoned love," "she's your lover now," blah blah blah. a really good sampler of bob's best. man, i wish i still had that tape, it was really good! (not that i still have a tape deck, but whatever.) the dude made a sequel, called "another helping of bob," and a third, final tape called "a side of bob/a side of beef." we joked that those tapes went platinum, because so many people had them.

i've seen bob 13 times live, and each time i saw him, i would be convinced that this was the night i was to hear "visions of johanna." and each time i was denied. i would follow the setlists, and he would play it either right before or right after my show. i've even traveled to nashville to see him, not specifically just to see him do that song of course, but thinking maybe he'd play it there, since the song was recorded there. nope. but my dream finally came true in june, when i saw bob with willie nelson (lucky show # 13). he totally played it! and i cried. it was beaufitul. i "WOOOOOO"ed so loud when he sang, "the ghost of electricity howls in the bones of her face." *sigh* best line ever.

anyway, there's the big martin scorcese PBS thingie coming up, and i am really excited about it, as he his focuising on my favorite bob era: the years after he got huge and ending at his motorcycle accident. i love crazy amphetmine mod bob. i love mellow married woodstock bob, too, but somehow not quite as much...

looks like i'll also have to go to starbucks tonight to get this new cd...and i don't care what anyone says, starbucks has some freakin' good coffee. i have an independently owned, prefectly nice little coffee shop just steps from my apartment, and i agree that they should be supported before starbucks. but they don't have a limited edition bob dylan cd, so screw them!! plus i always end up getting some new person that can't make a latte to save their freakin' life. BAH!

that is all.

aaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!

holy wow, that is so frightening!!!

everyone has a blog

even dr. mierzwiak!!

work sucks

someone needs to discover me, SOON, because i am about to FREAK the FRIG OUT, man!!! i cannot take it anymore! seriously!!! one of these days, it's just gonna be like, "BAAA-AAA-AAA-AAA!" (imitates shooting sound)

rawk, rawk, 'til you drop

rawk, rawk, never stop!

this guy rules (and looks a bit like harvey keitel)!

2nd post reiterating that i hate j.d. fortune

this guy just needs to go. he's arrogant, lazy, his voice is just so-so, he has ridiculous tattoos, and he isn't even really all that good-looking. there is no way that inxs wants to hang out with him, work with him, record with him, and tour with him. he's a douchebag. he angers me. and then i get angry that i am getting emotional reactions to a friggin' reality show. he doesn't even deserve to be there at this point, especially after last night's episode where he couldn't even be bothered to learn that new inxs song, and then he went into the studio and made an ass of himself. hahahahahahaha! serves you right, douchebag!!! (weeee, i love saying "douchebag.")

i can't stand you, j.d. the only reason that you're still there is because all the stupid little girls vote for you every week. yuk.

craft corner #2

but don't be a dumbass and put cereal in it. heh.

is YOUR mind diseased?

well, is it?

when i was four, i swallowed a lite brite peg.

this way is much safer.

crazy psycho killers and me

we all know the whole six degrees of separation theory, correct? WELL. turns out that i am 3 degrees away from both charles manson and one of the menendez brothers. this lady i used to work with (and became friends with) has a brother that worked at san quentin, and this brother had many, many conversations with charles manson. said he was a totally brilliant guy. and then i found out recently that my dear friend margy has an aunt or something that went out with one of the menendez brothers!!! WOW! if mark or margy are reading this, please feel free to comment and set me straight, in case i have that info wrong. but, again, WOW!

my boyfriend is related to bob evans. not that he's a psycho killer or anything, but who can truly know what's REALLY in that sausage...

yoga kitty

ohhhhh i love my beautiful, contorted kitty.

the 40-year old virgin

yup. saw it yesterday, and it was pretty good. i'll see anything that involves steve carrell, paul rudd, or judd apatow. (i love "freaks and geeks" deeply. DEEPLY.) i thought the ending was the best part; i love when people who shouldn't sing and dance, do.

i also enjoyed all the action figures featured in the virgin's apartment. i thought that was one of his better qualities, not something made made him a dork. but, perhaps that means that i am just a dork, and it's a miracle that i'm not still a virgin.

oop, we can't forget about the chest-waxing scene, made all the better by the fact that i had just heard before seeing it that he was really, actually getting waxed. that was truly all of his hair. poor guy. he's like robin williams hairy. heh. "you look like a man-o-lantern!"

when my boyfriend and i went to leave for the movie, i was wearing these ancient jeans that have a "beck" patch ironed on the ass that looks like the ford logo. chris was wearing a beck shirt. i was like, "we can't both wear beck things!! that's weird!" and he was like, "who cares, let's go." when we actually got into public, we both felt really lame about it. i was like, "check us out, we're uber beck fans!!!!" one of us should've changed.

i don't know about you...

..but i think "toxic chemicals" and "dislodged coffins" sounds like the perfect recipe for zombies.

give the bradys some much-needed flair

i can't even tell which one is pictured here...sorta looks like peter, but bobby played the drums in one episode...meh.

holy mackerel

weight watchers recipe cards from 1974.

liberace's sticky buns

you know they are soooo sticky, too.

the beck

yeah, so, i'm going to see beck in october. word around the campfire is that brendan benson is opening. which would be cool...i am going to be seeing him with the white stripes and the shins at coney island a few weeks before. anyhoo, the beck. out of all the times i have seen him i have been not as excited about it as i usually am. i mean, "guero" is pretty good, but i didn't get obsessed with it like i have with all his other albums. however, yesterday i got home from work and i caught the tail end of "eternal sunshine" on the hbo and i suddenly realized that beck would possibly do "everybody's gotta learn sometime" and i will weep and all will be right with the world.

(beck art by mondo)

whatcha doin' on your back?

you should be dancin'! yeah!

the gruesomes

today i was talking with my friend mark about the ghoulie rock n' roll neighbors on that one "flintstones" episode (which then later became its own show). i couldn't remember their name, and he thought they were called "the weirdlies" (which i like much better),

but they are in fact called the gruesomes. we also touched upon the mosquitos, from "gilligan's island." you know, bingo, bango, bongo and irving.

ahhhh. sitcom rock.

hours of fun!

...brought to you by my good buddy mick of beingcharliekaufman.com fame. so you know who to blame when you get busted doing this all day at work.

pictures of me giving the heavy-metal sign while drunk

p.s. paul proch is *so* not...

paul proch is my slovenly hero that doesn't pay his bills in a timely fashion

so, paul proch is the gentleman that did the art in "eternal sunshine." among other things. he did joel's journal, his pics of clementine, childhood crayon drawings on the fridge in the scene when joel was 4 in that awesome kitchen, etc.

one fine day, i checked out his website, which you should too, because it's nifty, and i emailed him to tell him that i thought he was keen-o. well, turns out that not only is he crazy talented in all kinds of ways, but he's also a helluva nice guy. so, after several emails and an eBay auction that i lost, he agreed to do a custom piece for me. i decided that i wanted a sign like the one in "taxi driver," because i was on a years-long search for one, and i could never find it. i was BEYOND THRILLED with the results. i was also the envy of everyone i knew who would appreciate that i the guy who did the art in "eternal sunshine"---which is easily my favorite film EVER. ever ever ever. it totally breaks my heart and makes me laugh and i discover new things each time i see it---agreed to do something for me from "taxi driver," which was my favorite movie for a long, long time. my life totally ruled the day the piece arrived. ahhhhhhhhhh...

sigh, swoon, paul proch rules!!!!

empire of the ants

the number of times i have seen this film is shocking, even to me. it was on again last night, so you know what mondo was watchin'. i've always been tortured as to where i've seen the nice old lady that played velma before...so i looked her up, and i am quite embarrassed to say that it is from "midnight madness," a total crap film that i watched a million times because it had michael j. fox in it. who was my first love. totally. i would watch anything a million times that had michael j. fox in it. (although michael j. fox has no elvis in him.)

love saves the day...

...is my all-time favorite store, ever. there's one in the village, and one in new hope, pa. i get to the new hope one more often than the nyc one, but both are equally wonderful. i first heard of it in 1985, when i saw "desperately seeking susan" for the first of many, many times (it's where madonna swapped her jacket that used to belong to jimi hendrix for those bitchin' sparkly boots), and i was so happy to discover that there was one in new hope when i went there for the first time in high school.

i wish i could live inside love saves the day. i wish there was more on the internets about it, too. meh.

the white stripes are dominating my blog!

which is fine. this post about my favorite fraudulent brother and sister act is, they are on the cover of the rolling stone.

poop bags

what an awesome site i found. other people's grocery lists! fascinating!! (really. i actually really find it fascinating.)

wha...?

maybe it's because the coke logo is red and white...

my crazy-ass dream last night

i was on my way to an amusement park with some people, not sure who, and i went into this really 70's looking house to pick up some of the people that were going to go with us. while we were there, sitting at the dining room table waiting for them, eating chips, the cops showed up and told us that a murder had taken place while were were in there. we weren't suspects, but the cops warned us that if we left, we'd have to go past the downstairs area, where 3 of the bodies were. and it was apparently really gruesome. they were still looking for the mom, who was upstairs. they assumed she was killed, too. so, the cops eventually started leading people out of the house so they could properly conduct their investigation. they led ALL kinds of people out, parading past us...an old couple, a freaking CLOWN...i said, "the clown did it! it was the clown!!!" everyone was crying and yelling "WHY? WHY?!?!?" then the place began to smell, and i could smell this disgusting odor even in my dream. yuck. i woke up with my cat nipping at my face, and i was all weirded out.

eeeew. perhaps i shouldn't have watched "the texas chainsaw massacre" before bed last night...

ooooh, help me, dr. zaius...

love advice from dr. zaius

from dearabby.com

"For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.) "

hmmmm...that $5 could buy a lot of things...a frosty heineken, a pack o' smokes, a mandarin chicken salad from wendy's...and popularity! who knew?

i don't like spam!!!!

i'm leaving the seven comments in the white stripes entry just so you can see how oddly pathetic they are. like, they start off seeming sort of genuine, and then i scan down to them babbling about their site about colonics or whatever. and i was so excited, thinking that i had a good little topic with people exchanging ideas and banter. WRONG!!! *sigh* booooooooo! and another thing, i SO could not handle today's crossword. that's what i get for shooting my mouth off about how i can rock the ny times puzzle. *double sigh*

a word or two about the white stripes

so, i'm going to see them in september in brooklyn with the shins (yay!) and brendon benson (yay, yay!), and i am super-psyched, of course. i saw them in atlanta in june, and they rocked. i have also been fortunate enough to see them at radio city w/ the strokes back in aug '02, and again in union square (for free!) in october of '02. the reason for my white stripes post today is, i am wondering if jack is become a bit of a diva, based on this post from the modern age. golly, i sure hope not...

check out the picture i found while searching for a sesame tofu recipe

ohhh, she's adorable.

(here's the recipe, in case anyone cares)

as if life wasn't puzzling enough...

for some reason, i get the new york times delivered to me during the week now. i've never ordered it, and i have no idea why i'm getting it all of a sudden. it's been arriving every morning for weeks, and i have become obsessed with doing the crossword every day when i get home from work. in the past i've always been more of a jumble girl, but lately i can't get enough of the crossword! this is truly a sign that i am getting old and boring. my parents are total crossword puzzle people---a safe gift for them is one of those big new york times sunday crossword books, of which they have every single volume. i never thought i would turn into them at such a young age, but...*sigh* it's happened. it was extremely difficult at first, but in the past week i have finished 2 entire puzzles with no outside help whatsoever! my mom was so proud of me.

ummm, WTF? part 2

what the hell is going on?!?! why does everyone want to look like a damn crazy-weird-wax-figure-robot-action-figure-freakshow?!?!? congrats, jessica. you've managed to disturb me more than you ever have before. and that's saying a LOT.

ummm, WTF?

how totally disturbing.

plate of shrimp

drunken drawings...

...for your viewing pleasure.

"her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."

and more of the worst analogies ever written in a high school essay.

(gary coleman art by mondo)

do people still talk on the phone?

i mean, not while on their way to somewhere else? hmmm.

zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance...

...entirely online. enjoy.

just when you thought clowns couldn't get any scarier...

...meet buffo.

too weird to live, and too rare to die....

hunter's final blast-off, blow by blow.

you know, there just aren't any good comics about heroin addiction anymore...

prepare to be hooked!

one banana, two banana, three banana, four...

this post is for the benefit of chris, who couldn't quite place exactly what the banana splits looked like during our discussion of our favorite shows when we were kids on that long drive to ohio.

man, that was one f-ed up show. i re-visited it years ago when cartoon network played it at like 2 a.m. at that hour, it was being enjoyed soley by the stoned, the unemployed, or the insomniac. back then i was all three.