links: my valentine's gift to you

here's an awesome thing where you can make your own subtitles to a "Bombay TV" movie. see my movie here! (warning: it's dumb. i didn't watch the clip before i blindly entered my subtitles.)

ah-hahahahaha! HOOO! hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

the tattooed banana.

this is totally horrifying. (link via neatorama)

love poem generator. here's my crap peom:

My Love
Your skin glows like the banana, blossoms hurty as the pussy willow in the purest hope of spring.
My heart follows your ukulele voice and leaps like a duck-billed platypus at the whisper of your name.
The evening floats in on a great egret wing.
I am comforted by your chastity belt that I carry into the twilight of cowboy beams and hold next to my larynx.
I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of ice cream soup.
As my right nostril falls from my suspenders, it reminds me of your cotton ball.
In the quiet, I listen for the last screech of the day.
My heated knuckle leaps to my preppy loafers.
I wait in the moonlight for your secret ball point pen so that we may sew as one, knuckle to knuckle, in search of the magnificient mauve and mystical crumpled up piece of paper of love.