betcha didn't know i was friends with 2 big-time legendary rock stars

happy halloween!

blast from my past

man, i love the internet. i was searching for a local (philly area) tv horror host from the 80's: stella, the maneater from manayunk. she hosted a show called "saturday night dead," because it came on right after "saturday night live." the only movie i clearly remember watching was "satan's cheerleaders," but i know that i watched it every week. well, i totally found her, but i also stumbled across this page that featured this weird jersey-based clothing store that was in a quonset hut called "ideal." it had THE BEST JINGLE EVER! it is SO ETCHED IN MY BRAIN and has stayed with me all these years. and their commercials were so horribly outdated; i remember being a little kid, having absolutely no sense of style yet, and even then knowing how out-of-date those fashions were. this discovery totally made my day!!!

chris and i are going to a halloween party tonight, and tomorrow night, so look for some silly pictures within the next few days. i have my costume totally down, but chris has yet to decide on something. better hurry up, sweetie, you only have like 6 hours to go!

mmmmmm...meat...

since i am all about the soundboards this week, here's one of my favorite simpsons characters, ralph wiggum. i'm a bit disappointed that "i'm a gulch!!!" is not featured. oh well. anyway, i also really like moe, and lenny and carl. and "squeaky voiced teen." and that guy who goes "yeeeeessssssss?!?!? YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!" ahhhh. i still watch the simpsons at least twice a day, sometimes three. they just don't get old! inexplicable!!

also: meatscapes, takei comes out, the strokes live in rio, and "office space" is finally being reissued with 37 pieces of flair.

p.s. wha??? it's freaky and funny at the same time.

wax on, wax off...

...wax HOFF!

also, this here site is pretty cool---this guy developed the film he found in really old cameras. also of interest:

cassette jam '05
angry while drinking
bruce lee screen test
dean clean's (from dead milkmen) blog
and rodney anonymous' blog, for good measure.

mr. t soundboard, sucka!

i've been amusing myself with it all day. i don't know why, but it's really funny when he says "i love you."

rivers cuomo: meditating celibate blogging harvard grad.

i kinda dig weezer. yep. sure do.

mad lib poem # 3

(from language is a virus)

spiffy coffee mug's spiffy coffee mug

slowly i have never laughed, sleepily beyond
any photo, your post-its have their orange:
in your most fat skinny tie are things which slurp me,
or which i cannot roll because they are too patiently

your shiny look happily will unskip me
though i have thrown myself as turtle,
you drink always dust bunny by dust bunny myself as donut squeeze
(picking angrily, boldly) her slick clown

or if your earring be to write me, i and
my joker will giggle very expeditiously, aggressively,
as when the goatee of this photo chortle
the cat hopelessly everywhere chuckling;

nothing which we are to snicker in this indian chief scream
the thumbtack of your obnoxious bottle: whose argyle sock
consumes me with the all-day sucker of its pocket watch,
sniffing alligator and pimple with each whittling

(i do not crochet what it is about you that braid
and chew; only something in me falls
the crappy pop band of your post-it is pointier than all donuts)
white rat, not even the burger, has such puffy bracelet

- mondo retro & e.e. cummings

i got a rock.

the second-best show of the whole year is on tonight. yay!

(the best being this, of course.)

i really wish that it was still on cbs, so maybe we could see the old-school "SPECIAL" thingie. when i was a little kid and that "cbs special" came swirling at you , you KNEW something good was coming on. i also miss the overabundance of mounds, almond joy, and peppermint pattie commercials during the charlie brown shows.

*sigh*

(retrocrush testifies to the glory of the "special.")

my blog ain't worth s*&t!!

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

so, my comcast digital "on demand" cable just keeps getting better and better! (almost worth the $80 a month or whatever it is. yeahright.) the other week they added a "something weird" section, which i've mentioned. there's the "adult swim" stuff, old 70's & 80's tv shows, tons of free movies, etc. i love it. WELL, last night i discovered that they now have KARAOKE!!!! wheeeeeeeeeee! chris and i belted out practically every song they had to offer. i think "tony danza"--er, i mean "tiny dancer" was the best one, vocally speaking. i also did "faith," "detroit rock city," "you don't own me," and tons more. we even did really horrible songs like hoobastink's "the reason." which chris just emailed me saying that it was still in his head this morning. poor guy. at any rate, i am having a party in a few weeks and there is SO TOTALLY GONNA BE KARAOKE. that's just all there is to it.

baking with bob's mom

i found this recipe years ago, and i finally decided to make it yesterday. it is SLAMMIN'! and makes the kitchen smell good. i highly recommend trying this out (with a giant glass of milk). and, as she said, this recipe is no-fail: "it's one minute to make." and who knows, maybe consuming this delicious treat is the secret to becoming a total genius. although i ate like 4 pieces of it, and i'm not setting the world on fire. yet.


Beatty Zimmerman's Banana Chocolate Chip Loaf Bread

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened

2 eggs

4 tablespoons sour cream

2 ripe bananas, mashed

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 (6-ounce) package chocolate chips (or up to 12 ounces, if desired)

2 medium disposable foil loaf pans (about 8-by-3-by-2 inches)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream together the sugar and butter. Add the eggs and beat well. Add the sour cream and ripe bananas; mix well.
In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder and baking soda. Add the dry mixture to the sour cream mixture, then fold in the chocolate chips.
Divide the batter between two greased loaf pans. Bake for about 50 minutes. Turn the loaves out on to cooling rack or aluminum foil as soon as they're done.

"dance your cares away..."

"...worries for another day, let the music play, down at fraggle rock!" yay! i will so go see this movie. my friend matt used to laugh and laugh hysterically anytime anyone would say the words "fraggle rock." i wonder if he still does? this was like 10 years ago...i'll have to ask him.

oh, and do you like sweet wrappers? i like sweet wrappers. do you love pickles? i love pickles. and do black people love you? black people love these people.

"black samurai"...

...is one of the best/worst movies i've seen in a long time. i thoroughly enjoyed it in all of its good/bad wonder. the editing was just DREADFUL! but the music was pretty good.

and it's also a drink!

after "black samurai" we watched "jackie brown," which made me want to move it back into my top 15 movies and out of honorable mention. but then i remembered that quentin is dating shar jackson, so i decided not to, just to be that way. i mean, what is QT doing with federline's baby's mama?! oh, i guess that's mean, and uncalled for. we've all dated losers, haven't we? kevin is shar's loser, and maybe quentin is her keeper. but, he's also getting into NASCAR now. so odd!

dutch tile a go-go

it's true!

i have nothing really going on the past few days. work sucks, and i go home and either fall asleep in front of the telly, or drink a few beers and THEN fall asleep in front of the telly. i'm in a mild rut. i can't even find good links lately. not that we don't all love blue dutch tiles, mind you.

i didn't sleep very well last night. i was lying there for hours thinking about all these people i used to know, and then i had a really cool idea for a book. so now i think i want to write a book. which i could totally do, at least this kind of book. i can't tell you my idea, of course. so we'll see if i ever do anything with that idea, ever.

my halloween costume is supposed to arrive today. wheee! this is the first time i have ever ordered a costume and not just made one up on my own, for virtually free. the other year i was carrie, and the only thing i really spent money on was all that blood. meh. GOD, this is the worst post ever.

anyway, also, please enjoy jart in my head. it's the ginchiest blog! i love the scans of old TV guide ads, and stuff. yay!

i hope these links please you.

woody allen comic strip from the 70's!

the warriors video game is out.

here's a link to a guy who auditioned for the strokes video the other day (via the modern age).

listen to tapes of a drunken murray wilson inflicting the usual psychological damage on his brilliant sons.

and finally, Johnson said she would just like a replacement roast.

more later...

my top 15 films of the past 15 years

imdb's doing it, so of course i could not resist! dear readers, please feel free to post your lists in the comments. i'd love to see them. some trivia about my list: steve buscemi is in 4 of my picks, i wrestled with the top two for a while before finally choosing "pulp," and i have seen the films in the top 15 ten times or more. i saw "pulp fiction" 6 times in the theater, which is just insane, so i think it deserves #1.

1. pulp fiction
2. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
3. royal tenenbaums
4. fargo
5. ghost world
6. boogie nights
7. fear & loathing in las vegas
8. goodfellas
9. reservoir dogs
10. mulholland drive
11. office space
12. fight club
13. welcome to the dollhouse
14. kill bill 1 & 2
15. being john malkovich

honorable mention: jackie brown, rushmore, a mighty wind, wet hot american summer, napoleon dynamite, donnie darko, memento, sin city

good morning, children

the white stripes were great on charlie rose last night! except i am quite sure that charlie rose was totally unfamiliar with them, even though he pretended to be "with it" and "hip" to what they are all about. he pronounced "orchid" like it rhymed with "scorch it." silly. but, we learned that jack got re-married to his chickie in nashville on the stage of the grand ole opry by a preacher found on the fly, in the presence of a few security guards. i love that. and it was a pretty good interview, jack was chatty as usual, and meg wasn't, as usual. jack was complaining about the cooler-than-thou hipsters that come to the shows and try to act superior and bored, not stooping to the level of freaking out and getting into the the live "give and take" dynamic of a show. which has always been a peeve of mine. anyway, their performance of "as ugly as i seem" was great. worth staying up late for. and, since the very beginning of charlie rose was all about actual NEWS (boooo!), i watched the first half of premeire episode of "the colbert report." (it's french, bitch!!!) i LOL'ed several times. funny man, he is. i was very bummed out that, when i went to a taping of "the daily show" last year, stephen colbert was nowhere to be found. we got ed helms, samantha bee...but that's okay, because we also got "back in black." what a fun day that was!!

and now, for something completely different, please enjoy these mp3's of 1960's japanese garage psych, and this template for making a paper K.I.T.T. car.

mrs. garrett is a crazy old witch

i am all about "the facts of life" lately. i heart "on demand"!!! they just added a "something weird" section, which makes me elated beyond words!! i own so many "something weird" DVDs that it's sick. and i watched 4 episodes right in a row of that awsome, insane A&E show "intervention" yesterday. i don't know why, but i love documentaries about addicts. maybe i was extra into it because i was recovering from my own alcohol olympics i held on saturday...then again, i like the shows about killers, too. and maybe i'm so into those because i killed that guy once (do i have to post a disclaimer that i'm joking? well, just in case, there it was)... anyway, i am watching a "very special episode" of "facts" right now, with cousin geri. but that damn mrs. garrett---SERIOUSLY! what a nut!

in other news, mrs. madonna is also a crazy old witch, the white stripes are on charlie rose tonight (and taking a break next year to make room for the raconteurs!), ryan adams and the strokes dig on chess, kermit the frog had a nice time in nyc this weekend, and "arrested development" isn't on AGAIN tonight. boooo! stupid baseball!

i am so totally losing it

i seriously cannot take working in a crappy office anymore! it's not nearly as subversive or fun as they make it seem on the telly. well, i'm lying, sometimes it's fun (see kenny's birthday posts and such), but i an SO SICK of having to deal with ignorant a-holes ALL DAY LONG, ripping me a new one because they are not getting thier stupid crap they ordered in a timely fashion, because the company i work for is totally disorganized and ridiculous. i have had, like, ZERO SCREW AROUND INTERNET TIME the past few weeks. how can i be expected to live like that?!?!?? hahaha.

hopefully later i will have calmed down enough to post something better than this.

bwfytthijts2478a26i4$7893%($HKI4hahahahaha!

hoo-boy, i am so drunk! i've been drinking all day. i wanted to start at 11:30 (we got a case of heineken last night), but chris reminded me that i really should wait until noon. my argument that "but, it's noon somewhere!!" held no significance.

we really desperately needed to go to the grocery store, as the cupboard is REALLY bare. but, due to the drinking, we didn't go. i tried to make a suitable lunch out of 4 turkey hot dogs, a thing of pillsbury whole wheat "grands," and some shredded cheddar cheese.

i am personally impressed that i took pics of my jewelry, edited them, wrote the descriptions, posted them (so check them out!!), did a load of laundry, swept the floor, showered, AND made makeshift pigs in a blanket. all while drinking.

so, here's to alcohol! the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

see the pigs cookin' in the oven (i normally AM a decent cook...i think i did okay makin' do with what i had to work with).



see chris eating the delicious pigs (mmmmmmm...pigs...)!

see gertie saying, "what the hell is that you guys are eating?! my damn purina kitten chow is better than that ghetto crap. drunks."

saturday morning mass sex frenzy

what a shame i don't live in new york. oh well. in other news, this guy was in the new white stripes video and lives to tell the tale, there's an "aqua teens" movie coming soon-ish, and here's where you can read all about the Real Dude.

please enjoy this old pic of albert sucking lasciviously on a popsicle...i tried to find strokes pics that are kind of sexual in nature in keeping with their video theme, but...meh. whatevah--this is what you get.

ooh, and i've got not one but TWO delicious bellydancing links! sweet! and don't forget to enter this "design your own ketchup label" contest. i totally entered. okay, i totally didn't.

let's learn about the chinese space program

or, just look at the pictures, like i did.

also: heads in jars, dogs in bee costumes, pictures of elvis with celebrities, funny anagrams, and "camel toads." is it for real? not sure.