i wonder if jemaine put a wig on bret after this photo was taken?

he's already sleeping, and in the spooning position. okay, on with the links:

using mcdonald's as pizza toppings.

how to make a life-size jabba the hut puppet. (via boing boing)

no more "red wine headache?" woo! p.s. they used the phrase "life on mars" in the article. i'm trying to think of a witty bowie comment right now, but i got nothin'. i've been a little out-of-sorts lately...i think my blog has been pretty crappy as a result. i'll try to do better. here's an idea: since i don't bother to track my web traffic anymore, why don't you good people post some crazy linkage in the comments section...? then i can see who is really reading this, and you will also be helping a sistah out. although i'll feel pretty pathetic if no one posts anything... ok, now i'm getting depressed again.

oh yeah, rachel and i are going to see rick springfield and eddie money! scandal's playing, too. i have an ex-boyfriend from many moons ago that told me that every time he had the flu and would puke, he heard "the warrior" in his head. i still think of that everytime i hear that song. funny. AND, my friend katharine saw eddie money back in the day, and when he finally stumbled out on stage, he sat down on a stool that was set up for him. he sang like 3 lines of some song, and fell off the stool because he was so drunk. he passed out cold and they canceled the show. also funny.

ANYWAY, back to business...

glamour (mug) shots. if i ever get arrested, i hope it look cute in my mugshot.

hmmmm...

folk up your wardrobe.

so hey, you can wear your folk clothing while watching flight of the conchords, which finally comes out on dvd on tuesday!!! ahhh, i miss my bret. i like lookin' at him. i stole that phrase from my dear margy (or "margence," as i like to call her). when she wants to hang out, she says, "let's get together so i can look at ya! i miss lookin' at ya." :) i also miss jemaine (whom i also like lookin' at)and murray and dave and mel and even mel's husband, doug. poor doug. "it IS terrible, doug! it's terrible!!!" now you people who read this and have no idea why i have been going on and on about "the guys" so much can see for yourselves (although with all those youtube links i just posted, you don't need the dvd, do you? meh). yis, yis, i am very excited for tuesday, although word around the campfire is that there are no extras on the DVD. boooo! i want some commentary, some easter eggs, some un-pixelated jemaine in "business time!" i want a blooper reel! i want to hear all two hours of coco's song (scroll down to "episode 4 - yoko" and click on "coco's song")! oh well.

my new heroes

"honey, your reputation is sh!t in this town."

wow, those girls from "the shining" really let themselves go.

the visual art of mark mothersbaugh.

naked mughsots. awwwwww yeah.

amy sedaris on martha stewart.

how to make an origami bird.

i was telling dave about bad news the other day. so now i'm telling you.

"a couple of girls made me kiss them after our last show. they made me." (note to self: it's not that hard to get them to kiss you. as long as you remember that a kiss is not a contract.)

here's a partial listing of samples used on "paul's boutique."

last night when i was reading that, i discovered that adam horovitz is married to kathleen hanna. i had no idea!!! i loved bikini kill.

that wiki entry led me to read about "over the edge," which is one of the greatest 70's teen movies ever. i first saw it on tv when i was in high school, and then it was on again so i taped it, and then i found it at a used record store on vhs for $5. it has good music, matt dillon, and the kids blow up the school at the end. but not in a campy "rock n' roll high school" kind of way. then i read (and remembered) that kurt cobain loved this movie. coincidentally, i rocked out in my car to nirvana the other day for the first time in years and years. it was fun, but made me feel old. i remembered how i was obsessed i was (much like the rest of the universe) with "nevermind" when it came out, not long after i graduated high school. in 1991. which was 16 years ago. when did i get old?!?!? that was a good time for music, though. i wasn't into "grunge" bands so much as i was into the riot grrrl bands. i loved hole (yes, i am admitting that. i was all about "pretty on the inside" and every b-side and 7" and demo and what have you. "live through this" was good, i guess, but i turned on courtney soon after it came out. i turned on her for many reasons, but i really didn't like the slicker versions of those older songs. especially "doll parts." once upon a time i *loved* that song. i hated the way is sounded on "live through this." HATED IT. but the timing of the album's release made it important, i guess. courtney just started totally sucking as a human being, and continues to do so. so, f her.

(later: in honor of this post, i am wearing my sonic youth "dirty" shirt and a white plastic little girl's barrette in my hair. viva la 1992!)

yep.

bill and wes: together again.

watch this before you see "darjeeling limited." at least that's what my friend mark says.

celebrity motorbike crash-ups.

wow, i live near the center of the universe!

new, 1-hour "office" tonight! huzzah!

related: Shirtless Jim.

just a quickie today

things may be sporadic around here for the next couple of days...or more...those of you that know me and where i work are almost certainly aware that it is NO PICNIC right now. *sigh*

anyway...

oh, i can SO draw garfield!! odie and nermal, too. i should send mine in.

knitted Thing.

now here's something we ALL can use every day.

oh, leave poor, anxious meg white alone!!

drunkonia. some of us live here.

these random photos from my computer have nothing to do with the links.

faces in places.

list universe.

this guy must've been the coolest teacher in the world.

fun vinyl.

the "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks.

people jumping on beds in hotels.

so...anybody hiring?

i'm creative, i have decent computer skills, and i'm a snappy dresser.

oh, how i love big happy funhouse. the picture to the left is from there, too.

how stupid are you?

how to make witch jars for halloween.

article about the beloved laugh track.

space age pop a go-go.

*sigh* why am i even bothering? nobody reads blogs on saturdays.

"The air was soft, the stars so fine, the promise of every cobbled alley so great, that I thought I was in a dream."

lolsecretz. like postsecret, but with lolcatz. hey, look! that cat to the left there is the feline version of me!

hilly kristal was a millionaire.

jack kerouac's hand-drawn cover for "on the road."

having children angers eddie vedder.

yeeaaah...i'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead...annnnd...have a happy birthday. milton, keep passing the cake so everyone gets a piece.

i just saw a bunch of lou reed's photographs at the warhol museum. they're quite good.

awwww. this is sort of related--i have this little millipede-woman toy. the bottom is a millipede, and the top is a bettie page-esque woman with big boobs. one time i saw a real millipede on top of the sexy millipede woman. it was so funny. he probably thought, "woo-hoo! i hit the jackpot! this is the hottest millipede chick i've ever seen!!"

like a curry

one of these days i'm going to throw a dinner party and actually make some of this hideous food that i am so obsessed about...

arrrrrgh! walk the plank! swab the deck! arrrrrgh!

wes anderson's at&t commercials.

you know a day can't go by without me talking about fotc...

over and over...

and over again.

eeek!

this made me laugh.

this one's for rachel!

blah.

put your own messages in dylan's "subterranean homesick blues."

this baby panda looks like a pig.

ask the punk professor.

daniel clowes is going to have a weekly comic strip in the new york times funny pages. AWESOME!!

how to analyze political cartoons.

how to play the uke in 3 minutes or less.

you bloated sack of protoplasm!

mugshots of people wearing band t-shirts.

jemaine-isms.

well, it's that time of year again...

john k, the genius behind ren & stimpy, has a blog.

and so does mc hammer.

pictures of people with balls in their faces.

a bunch of crazy drug links.

my eyes are just a little sweaty today

has anyone else been watching "tell me you love me" on the hbo? HOLY CRAP, it's like porn with hotter guys and a decent plot!

if i was one of the golden girls, i would so be dorothy. with maybe a little bit of rose.

"i'm making a lasagna...for one..." and now you can, too! (and don't forget to bake it in your talking stove!)

bloggers invent their own cuss phrases.

the white stripes canceled their tour for the rest of the year because meg is suffering from "acute anxiety." i hear ya, sister. still, wonder what she's so stressed out about? meg, make yourself some of your grandma's corn souffle and take it easy:

INGREDIENTS:

1 16 oz. can of creamed corn

1 16 oz. can of corn niblets

1 box of Ritz crackers, chopped

1 egg

Mix creamed corn and niblets together. Chop crackers into little bits. Mix some of the crackers into the corn with an egg. Take the rest of the crackers and spread on top. Bake like a casserole for 40 minutes at 350 degrees. Meg: "It's awesome; the egg makes it solid and the crackers make it crunchy. Really good comfort food."

i actually made the above recipe once. it wasn't bad.

i wanna be chachi for halloween this year.

retro sexy.

jeff van vonderenenernen's (from "intervention") official site.

this is an amazing shopping list.

what countries drink the most beer?

top 5 runway falls.

baio watch.

top 10 my little ponies. i never had any my little ponies. i thought they were stupid. i was all about strawberry shortcake.

horrific food of the 70's.

burt n' dolly pancakes, ala "the best little whorehouse in texas." awesome.

how to make absinthe with vodka and jolly ranchers.

best cameo ever.

saw "halloween" last night, and i liked it. there were some good peeps in the movie, like sid haig , clint howard, and danny trejo...but no one beats the nearly unrecognizable cameo of mickey dolenz (yes, that mickey dolenz) as the owner of the gun shop. i wasn't even sure if it was really him...i leaned over to rachel, and said, "holy crap -- is that mickey dolenz?!?" and sure enough, his name was in the credits. i was very proud of myself.

anyway, the movie was suspenseful, sufficiently bloody, plenty creepy, and just pretty good all around (especially after a bunch of beers). rob zombie did a good job.

on tuesday, i'm leaving for vegas for a week on business. there will certainly be some trolling for celebs since the mtv awards are going on while we're there. not that there's anyone presenting or performing that i would really be psyched to run into (or would even reconize, for that matter. i am old and not into rap, so...there you have it). but there should be some celebs partying it up over the weekend, so...yeah. as if i will be hanging out where the famous people are gonna be hanging out. i am staying a stone's throw from the hard rock hotel & casino, though...so who knows. i've never been to vegas before. i think my boss is worried that on the first night i am going to gamble all of my money away and become an alcoholic, crack-addicted trailer hooker (who doesn't know how to dress professionally).

anyways...

how to make a 3-D stuffed giraffe. because you know you want to.

meow meow...mmmmmmmmeeeeeooooooowwwwwwww...

hats of meat.

abridged movie scripts. what a time-saver!

ok, this chinese lead recall thing is just getting ridiculous.

top 10 incredible recordings.

rejected "love is..." comics.

what an idiot

chris and i were watching the miss teen usa pageant on friday night, because we are cool like that. we actually had fun making fun of all those stupid, spray-tanned, overly made-up girls. none of them looked like teenagers, they all looked at least 25 with all that hideous makeup and pageant hair. they all had to do these awkward dance moves every 5 minutes as well, which we were mimicking as we watched.

then this happened. it was the best thing i've seen in a long time. chris fell asleep on the couch earlier, and i actually woke him up and rewound it for him because it was SO AMAZING.

bill murray still rules.

heh.

Haha, Pekka Pohjola bassossa :D

tso what?

even criminals are down with the "ironic t-shirt."

pictures of the interiors of old motels.

these are funny. the first one actually kinda looks like a trailer hooker.

the world's biggest pub crawl. woo!

who WAS this general tso, anyway?!

i have named these two ladies kitty and madge.

how to make groovy sun goggles. you know you want to.

hey, my dad's name is henry!

i wonder when the next baby will be born. because you KNOW jack white's gonna have 3 kids. :)

ever wonder what to buy the pill-popper in your life who has everything? wonder no more!

how to lucid dream. wheeeeeee!

this is so funny to me.

so, i am going to vegas in september for a week. on business, mind you. BUT, this is going on while i am there! no one is going to be able to stop me from trying to get to that red carpet. just to WOO at the people i like (i'm sure there will be very few) and yell horrible things at the people i don't (which will be, like, everybody). this business trip just got WAY MORE INTERESTING!

i know these lolcats are so 5 minutes ago...

...but when i find one that looks like my cat i just can't take it! i want to teach gertie how to use chopstix...

do what now? (love this!!)

daydream nation is one of my favorite albums by anyone, ever.

dylan 07.

the 5 stages of drunkenness.

cheap ass food.

weird igloo-shaped food.

finally, here are the top 25 movie tearjerkers (i posted 26-50 the other day). i have personally cried at #24, #18, #14, #8 (of course), #7 (of course), #6 (big time--i watched this movie and then i watched it again immediately), #5 (see my comments from the other day), #4, #2 (although i was a little kid, don't know if i'd cry if i saw it now), and #1. BIG TIME CRIED at #1. when i saw this for the first time i was maybe 11 or 12, and my mom was coincidentally in the hospital at that very moment having cancerous tumors removed. and i had no idea what the movie was about--i just started watching it on hbo or whatever and then...ugh. i still remember sitting in my mom's chair, losing it. so...yeah. i totally cannot deal with that movie at ALL. for the record, my mom is fine now, still gets checked all the time but is cancer-free. but i still can't watch that movie. that hospital scene is brutal.