welly welly well well well...

i don't know why i don't blog anymore...well, that's a lie. i totally know why. a) i am too lazy to look around for cool links in my free time, b) i don't have that much free time, and c) i'm totally over it. i think, if i'm going to blog again, i need some kind of schtick, some kind of theme, some kind of funny angle to make it more interesting. meh.

but, i have had a bunch of people admonish me for not updating the blog, so here's the update! first what's going on with me, and then some links. maybe the LAST LINKS EVER!!! *gasp*!!

so, the holidays are winding down. thank goodness. i am so partied-and-fooded out. i got some groovy gifts, though. chris got me not one but TWO new ukes!!! one is a good one, and the other is a "crap" one. but it's pink!!!! a cute pink girlie uke, wheeeeee! it's just screaming out for a glittery hello kitty sticker or something. the good uke is awesome, it's an ohana and sounds infinitely better than the busted old johnson uke. i also got a million felt picks. chris also got me a new digital camera and pulp fiction action figures! awww, my mans. he's nifty. oh yeah, he also got me a set of miniature furniture from hong kong...a bed, 2 dressers (with working drawers) a table, 4 chairs, and a rocking chair. they are all painted with a cool asian design...oh, did i mention that they are all butane lighters?!?!? uh-huh. they are awesome! right now the wolf and jimmie from pulp fiction are at the table, drinking coffee (lotsa cream, lotsa sugar) and bloody vincent is on the bed, pointing a gun at bloody jules, who is standing on top of a dresser pointing a gun at vincent. yes, i am 34 years old and still play with action figures. i used the bed to light my cigarette earlier. cue "beds are burning" by midnight oil!!! ha.

i got a lot of other fun things, too. i have the greatest fam and friends ever! i cooked Christmas Dinner this year for mark and margaret and margy's brother harris. it was delicious. i made turkey, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, green bean casserole, corn, rolls...oh, and we had wine. DID WE EVER! then lori came over, then rachel came over, then wyatt and his friend katie came over. did i mention i drank a lot of wine that day? margaret tells me she has many "terrific (and incriminating) photos and movies" coming my way. i just may have to crawl in a hole and die. but it was fun. damn red wine. red red wine makes me feel so fine...until the next day. that was one wicked hangover. ugh.

last night i got all dolled up and went to a ra-sha-sha cocktail party. i had more red wine, but i kept everything under control. for once.

i will be spending new years with friends in the basement they converted into a kickass mini-irish pub, and in their hot tub. WOO! but that means i think i might have to buy a new bathing suit, since mine is now too big. DOUBLE-WOO!

i always intend on sticking to the new year's resolutions i half-heartedly make, but i never do. this year my big ones are drink less, eat healthier, find an exercise regimen that i actually can deal with and stick to, and swear less. if i end up doing any of those things it will be a miracle.

ok, here's a coupla links:

ukulele freakshow!

did beck drive these people to suicide?!? this story is so crazy. if you read this, make sure you follow all the links that are provided. just so nutty.

random conspiracy theories.

*sigh* see? i can't even find more than 3 links. i'm pathetic.

i think i am going to dye my hair blonde today, maybe give myself some itty-bitty bangs. new year, new hair. yep.

so, yeah. i'll be back someday, when i actually have something interesting to say. peace out, boy scouts!

i wonder if jemaine put a wig on bret after this photo was taken?

he's already sleeping, and in the spooning position. okay, on with the links:

using mcdonald's as pizza toppings.

how to make a life-size jabba the hut puppet. (via boing boing)

no more "red wine headache?" woo! p.s. they used the phrase "life on mars" in the article. i'm trying to think of a witty bowie comment right now, but i got nothin'. i've been a little out-of-sorts lately...i think my blog has been pretty crappy as a result. i'll try to do better. here's an idea: since i don't bother to track my web traffic anymore, why don't you good people post some crazy linkage in the comments section...? then i can see who is really reading this, and you will also be helping a sistah out. although i'll feel pretty pathetic if no one posts anything... ok, now i'm getting depressed again.

oh yeah, rachel and i are going to see rick springfield and eddie money! scandal's playing, too. i have an ex-boyfriend from many moons ago that told me that every time he had the flu and would puke, he heard "the warrior" in his head. i still think of that everytime i hear that song. funny. AND, my friend katharine saw eddie money back in the day, and when he finally stumbled out on stage, he sat down on a stool that was set up for him. he sang like 3 lines of some song, and fell off the stool because he was so drunk. he passed out cold and they canceled the show. also funny.

ANYWAY, back to business...

glamour (mug) shots. if i ever get arrested, i hope it look cute in my mugshot.

hmmmm...

folk up your wardrobe.

so hey, you can wear your folk clothing while watching flight of the conchords, which finally comes out on dvd on tuesday!!! ahhh, i miss my bret. i like lookin' at him. i stole that phrase from my dear margy (or "margence," as i like to call her). when she wants to hang out, she says, "let's get together so i can look at ya! i miss lookin' at ya." :) i also miss jemaine (whom i also like lookin' at)and murray and dave and mel and even mel's husband, doug. poor doug. "it IS terrible, doug! it's terrible!!!" now you people who read this and have no idea why i have been going on and on about "the guys" so much can see for yourselves (although with all those youtube links i just posted, you don't need the dvd, do you? meh). yis, yis, i am very excited for tuesday, although word around the campfire is that there are no extras on the DVD. boooo! i want some commentary, some easter eggs, some un-pixelated jemaine in "business time!" i want a blooper reel! i want to hear all two hours of coco's song (scroll down to "episode 4 - yoko" and click on "coco's song")! oh well.

ma-ma-monkey

for good measure, here is chris in his gorilla suit. the head and hands are on the sofa next to him. he had a fez, too. oh well. even in a monkey suit he's a hottie.

and the winner is...

wyatt! the real wyatt, not me. and to show what a good guy he is, he's taking us out for beers with his winnings. WOO!

here is me being sad. but not about losing. i'm sad that sheila's boobs are SO much bigger than mine.

dave and wyatt dressed up as...

...an 80's metal guy (dave) and a 70's basketball player (wyatt). BRAVO, guys!!!

as you may know, we are INSANELY competitive with each other when it comes to work-related holiday contests, so i will let you know later who won.

happy halloween!

rachel and i came as our friends (and co-workers) dave and wyatt.

i've been a bad, bad blogger

i'll be back eventually. for now, please enjoy this crazy story that i discovered via the new findadeath.com forum, which is my new obsession. (thanks, rachel!!!) anyway, it's all about people on sesame street that have died. first, you can read all about the original gordon, then mr. hooper, which they actually addressed on the show.

but the most amazing story is about the guy who played david. ahhhh, northern calloway. for one special evening, you were bat-shit crazy. it's amazing that this story isn't more well-known.

and now i have to continue to watch this bitchin' 4-hour tom petty documentary on sundance.

p.s. long live grover!!!

my new heroes

"My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house..."

the 50 worst tv shows of all time, according to tv guide. i totally disagree with #49 (come on, it had jeffrey tambor!) and #15 (see my previous posts about this show).

poor mumbling bob. i love him anyway.

awwww!

here's a montage from "rushmore," a film which uses the phrase "handjob" more than any other film, ever. hahaha...

na na na na na na, you say it's your birthday

na na na na na na, it's his birthday too, yeah! (he looks eerily and freakishly like both of his parents, it's amazing.)

further proof that new zealand is cool.

yoko's unveiling a peace tower for john today.

here's john in a taxi with a very f-ed up bob dylan. *sigh*

and here's a picture of john with a uke.

ain't no party like dave and megan's party! hey! ho!

"honey, your reputation is sh!t in this town."

wow, those girls from "the shining" really let themselves go.

the visual art of mark mothersbaugh.

naked mughsots. awwwwww yeah.

amy sedaris on martha stewart.

how to make an origami bird.

i was telling dave about bad news the other day. so now i'm telling you.

"a couple of girls made me kiss them after our last show. they made me." (note to self: it's not that hard to get them to kiss you. as long as you remember that a kiss is not a contract.)

here's a partial listing of samples used on "paul's boutique."

last night when i was reading that, i discovered that adam horovitz is married to kathleen hanna. i had no idea!!! i loved bikini kill.

that wiki entry led me to read about "over the edge," which is one of the greatest 70's teen movies ever. i first saw it on tv when i was in high school, and then it was on again so i taped it, and then i found it at a used record store on vhs for $5. it has good music, matt dillon, and the kids blow up the school at the end. but not in a campy "rock n' roll high school" kind of way. then i read (and remembered) that kurt cobain loved this movie. coincidentally, i rocked out in my car to nirvana the other day for the first time in years and years. it was fun, but made me feel old. i remembered how i was obsessed i was (much like the rest of the universe) with "nevermind" when it came out, not long after i graduated high school. in 1991. which was 16 years ago. when did i get old?!?!? that was a good time for music, though. i wasn't into "grunge" bands so much as i was into the riot grrrl bands. i loved hole (yes, i am admitting that. i was all about "pretty on the inside" and every b-side and 7" and demo and what have you. "live through this" was good, i guess, but i turned on courtney soon after it came out. i turned on her for many reasons, but i really didn't like the slicker versions of those older songs. especially "doll parts." once upon a time i *loved* that song. i hated the way is sounded on "live through this." HATED IT. but the timing of the album's release made it important, i guess. courtney just started totally sucking as a human being, and continues to do so. so, f her.

(later: in honor of this post, i am wearing my sonic youth "dirty" shirt and a white plastic little girl's barrette in my hair. viva la 1992!)